Page 55 of Sterling Fight

My brows lift. I don’t trust myself to be a father. I didn’t have the best role model. I had Stone, though. He did what he could to keep me in the fold, but he hadn’t been able to protect me from the insults and injury of my dad every second of every day, especially when he went off to college.

I don’t know what to say to Genie’s compliment, because I don’t know how I feel about being a dad. If I’d ever be a dad. It’s just one more thing I’ve been thinking about lately. How I’ve not only been in solitude and wanting a partner, but maybe I want more. Like a family of my own.

The possibility feels too big to wish for.

At her comment, I offer Genie a shy smile and then proceed to make myself a classic PB and J, while Genie opts for peanut butter only.

The three of us picnic on a blanket in Trudy’s backyard.

Genie learns Simon loves all things Star Wars and she does a perfect imitation of Yoda speak.

We play three rounds of Uno before chasing each other around his playset.

Simon asks to play catch again, and we include Genie, who I quickly discover is hopeless.

“It’s that hand-eye coordination thingy,” she jokes about herself.

Unable to help myself, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tug her to me, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re perfect.”

She doesn’t need to be able to catch a ball or win at Uno. She’s amazing as she is, and I’d like to tell her that every day.

When Trudy returns, Genie does a quick sketch of Simon. Skinny, long body, a bit distorted but a strong likeness of him complete with his floppy hair and dark rimmed glasses.

“For a quirky boy,” she tells him. “Thank you for making today a special day.”

“Even though it’s National Poem on a Pillow Day?” Simon chuckles, shaking his head like Trudy does. Genie told Simon about her job designing calendars and he asked her what made today’s date special. Besides National Roasted Leg of Lamb which made Simon snort, Genie told him about Poem on a Pillow Day.

“You’ve made today extra special.”

Simon’s face beams with pleasure, while staring down at his gift. “Can you draw a picture of Judd and me?”

“Next time,” I suggest as Trudy stands nearby. Genie and I really should get in some hours of work today. Plus, I want there to be a next time, when Genie is here with Simon and me.

“Definitely,” Genie assures him, and Simon surprises all of us by hugging her around her hips.

When he tips back his head, Genie runs her hands through his hair. The way Simon gazes at her, it’s love at first hair tug.

I know the feeling, kid.

When we enter my truck, Genie is quiet a second while waving out the open window at Trudy and Simon who stand on their front stoop.

Then she turns to me. “That kid was awesome.”

“I know, right?” Pride warms my chest at how easily Genie and Simon took to one another.

“Today was a great day, like I told him.”

I agree. I want all the days with Genie. They’d all be great.

We’re both silent a second, letting the warm breeze of late afternoon filter through the open windows of my truck.

“Do you want kids?” Genie asks sheepishly, toying with the shredded hem of her denim shorts. “I mean, one day. Maybe?”

I risk a quick glance at her and then stare out the window. “I didn’t dare to dream about having kids. For a long time, I thought I’d be a terrible father, and I didn’t see myself finding a life partner anyway. When I learned to fight, I found an outlet for all this anger inside me.” I wave around my belly. “I started to feel better. About myself. About a future.”

“You aren’t your father,” Genie whispers.

I glance briefly over at her again. “Oh, I know I’m not. I couldn’t even create half the insults he conjured. Nor could I speak the way he did. It’s not in me to be that crude or rude or condescending.” Most likely because of how my father was toward me. “He said a lot of things that put me down, made me think negatively about myself.”