Page 82 of Sterling Fight

He might no longer have his mother, but he has siblings. Some remember his mom. Some don’t. Judd should be with them in memory of her. For her. Violet Sylver’s children turned out to be amazing despite their father.

Judd rocks his head once and then says, “I’ll do it for you, firefly. Your wish is my command.”

28

[Judd]

If Stone is surprised to see me for the second weekend in a row, he doesn’t say a word. However, he does eye me suspiciously, noticing my glasses and the black and blue bruise they hardly disguise.

My family appears to be just the chaos Genie needs after that shitshow at Evergreen Terrace, but I need a moment to myself and wander into the house.

Fuck Tate Haven. Fuck Heather. Fuck Genie’s mother.

As I walk through the lower half of the house, I try to find my mother in corners of the rooms. Her scent. Her touch. Something that says she was here. But this house has been changed so much, it belongs to Stone and Vale collectively now. My mother’s rocking chair is long gone, broken by my father’s rage. Her stack of gardening books once tossed in the fireplace. All that remained were a few pictures, most of them stolen off the wall or taken from photo albums for fear our father would destroy them as well. Those framed pictures now grace the fireplace mantel, but the memories are so distant, they don’t even feel real.

It's been so long since I’ve been inside this house that I stumble when I see an image of my father and mother together, tucked at the end of the montage of frames highlighting my siblings. I step closer to the photograph, noting my father’s arms around my mother from behind, his head turned so he’s looking at my mother while she’s laughing toward the person taking the picture. They look so happy, so in love, and I never understood what went wrong.

“Hard to remember there were good times.” Stone’s low tenor from behind me startles me.

I turn only my head to glance at him over my shoulder.

“He hurt all of us.” Stone pauses. “Might have been easier if he’d been an asshole from the beginning.” He stops again. “But he wasn’t, and that’s what hurts the most.”

I snort, glancing back at the photo of my parents, and unable to recall a single good time with my father. “I think he resented me from birth.” Not being that girl my mother desired. Being close to her. A real mama’s boy, much to my dad’s disgust.

“He resented God for taking his wife too soon. He resented having to live without the love of his life. But deep, deep down, he did not resent his children, contrary to his behavior.”

“Funny way of showing it,” I mutter.

“Difficult to appreciate the man was hurting as well.”

I stare back at that picture, unable to recall a single smile on my father’s face but looking at my mother it’s clear he had them. Looking at her, she was the sunshine of his life.

And a brief memory flashes through my head. Our family playing baseball when I was young in the meadow on some summer day. Stone tagging Dad out at first base and my mother sweetly laughing. All of us, including my father, basked in her light.

Then I think about Genie being my firefly. The comparison might seem inconsequential. A tiny blip of light compared to the entire world being lit up by a star, and yet the feeling inside me is no different. Genie is brightness.

My father’s love-light was snuffed out too soon, plunging him into blackness. My life has felt like only darkness, but a sliver of light is leading me in a different direction.

“I’ve tried long and hard to forgive him,” Stone states, interjecting into my thoughts.

“How’s that working out for you?” Sarcasm isn’t typically my language but I’m still feeling brittle after the encounter with Genie’s mother and the supporting characters at that brunch.

“Hard.” Stone chuckles. “Forgiveness is a daily battle.”

“Forgiveness?” I twist to look at Stone again.

“Yep. I need to forgive him, or my resentment will eat at me just like it ate at him.”

Stone has so much to resent my father for, too. Our dad took the cowardly-for-him way out and left our eldest brother with a brood of kids when he was too damn young for the responsibility. Stone worked his ass off, along with Clay, to keep this family together. To remind us every day that we could count on each other. At the very least, we could rely on Stone.

It didn’t always work in Stone’s favor. Sebastian had been particularly difficult, Vale tempted to follow his path. Ford disappeared into baseball and Knox just left the family, pursuing his career in the Navy. Even though I work for the Seed & Soil, I’ve kept to myself as much as I can.

The most unwavering constant among us has been Stone.

“Is resentment eating you?” Stone asks. He isn’t mentioning the swollen cheek and black eye, but he might as well have.

“I can take care of myself.” I’ve learned to fight.