Page 71 of Double Play

It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t fair to me.

I could already feel my heart cracking in half and my stomach churning. At least the lie I told about a headache was coming to fruition. My head suddenly throbbed.

To my surprise, Declan is sitting on the stairs of my front porch when I pull into my driveway. The same front porch he kissed me on our second date, wanting to give us both the experience of a front-porch kiss and the innocence of a first date.

I exit my car with wobbling knees and fist my hands at my sides, then extend my fingers, wringing out my hands. Sweat pools beneath my pits as I know what I need to do, but don’t want to do.

Still wearing his suit from the evening’s event, I realize I hadn’t complimented him earlier. From uniform to formal wear, Declan Wylde is breathtaking, although my favorite outfit of his is his birthday suit.

Unfortunately, I am not going to see it for a while. If ever again.

I cross the short walk to my front steps and stop short a few feet away from him.

“Hey,” he whispers, a bashful smile on his face as he remains seated on my front step.

“Hey.” I swallow thickly, tears already welling in my eyes. “Didn’t you get my message?”

He stares up at me a second. “The one about your headache?” His tone is edgy, as if he knows I’m upset we were caught and running away from my shame. He’s onto my lame excuse.

But as he watches me, his expression shifts. I have no idea what he must see but his brows pinch with concern. “Unless you really do have one, in which case, I’m here to take care of you.” Smile restored, although hesitant.

My nose burns from his concern. My eyes prickling from his kindness.

“You can’t,” I whisper, choking on the words because the very thing I want is Declan Wylde to take care of me. To love me. A desire which conflicts with the thing I should be chasing—my future.

It isn’t right for me to sneak into ballrooms or tiptoe around a strictly-written clause in my contract. No fraternizing with staff, coaches, or players on the team.

“Declan,” I sigh, glancing at the boxwoods in front of my house while I lick my suddenly dry lips. I didn’t want to say what I needed to say. I don’t want to do what I must do.

I force myself not to look at him because I’ll give into that longing. That wanting him in the worst way, knowing he’s possibly the best thing to happen to me.

But I need to look out for what’s best for me.

Slowly, Declan rises from his seat on the steps and stands in front of me. I sense his hesitation, the cross between desire to reach out for me and cautioning against touching me.

“Tonight was a close call. But Eddie won’t say anything.” He chuckles, still sounding tense, while he scratches at the back of his neck. “He might have been having his own dalliance in another conference room.”

My head snaps upright, stumbling over my curiosity about Eddie and focusing on my own issue.

“My boss caught me.”

Declan lowers his arm and stands straighter. “He doesn’t know you were doing anything with me.”

“We were coming out of the same hallway together.”

“I was exiting the hallway with Eddie.”

“Moments after I left the same hall,” I reiterate, and a horrifying thought hits me. Does my boss think I ran off with two men at once? My skin pebbles at the thought while shame washes over me, dousing those goosebumps.

“There’s nothing to worry about, sweetheart,” Declan states, finally giving in and rubbing his hands up and down my chilled arms.

But I step back, closing my eyes at the loss of his touch, and interpreting his words as patronizing. “There’s everything to worry about. For me.”

My flesh prickles as a cool breeze brushes over me, and I wrap my arms around my middle, rubbing at my own arms.

“You know working at The Den is important to me,” I remind him of something he doesn’t need reminding about. We’ve talked about my desires. He’s listened to my plans. He’s been encouraging and protective, and yet, I can’t see a way to continue as we are.

“I do and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that.” His eyes widen, as if panicked.