Page 92 of Sterling Stone

And I feel him slipping away a little bit when I’m not ready to let go.

33

[Stone]

As I don’t want to overwhelm the heart patient, I don’t linger long for Trudy’s welcome home, and I’m a little uncertain where I stand with Taxi, which also sends me out the door early. I don’t doubt that she is surprised to see her van and happy to see me in the driveway, but her decision to place us on pause is troubling.

Strange to think I’d had a public friendship that everyone thought was a more-than-platonic relationship, and now I have what I consider a budding relationship, and she wants us to appear like friends.

I don’t fault Taxi. So much has happened all at once. Trudy’s heart attack and Taxi’s decision to stay a while. I just don’t want to be shut out.

Taxi needs to see that I’m not going to abandon her. For a man previously opposed to commitments of the heart, my heart is certainly screaming at me to keep her.

She’s strong, magnetic, loyal and someone who dropped everything for someone she loves. She doesn’t trust easily, but I feel her opening up to me. She understands me in a way few people do. We share similar experiences with parents and family. The contrast of her strength and vulnerability attracts me to her. She sees the two sides of me.

I’ve been strong my entire life. Holding up my family, raising them, lifting them, but no one has done the lifting for me. Somehow Taxi does that. Her concern for my arm. Her fear for the risks in my profession. Her attention to me.

So this pause is a little confusing to navigate. Except almost immediately, Taxi acts opposite of what she requested.

I’m invited to stay for dinner when I visit, checking in on the patient and caregiver.

Taxi doesn’t pass me without a simple touch, like she’s confirming with a brush of her hand over my shoulder or a stroke of her pinky beneath the dinner table that I’m present.

We talk on the phone each night like classic teenagers. The ones who used to use the phone for the purpose of speaking to someone else, not just text messages. We even FaceTime, which is even better because at least I can see her.

And it’s in one of these talks that I confess what happened to me.

“You ever been in love, Stone Sylver?” Her tone playful and teasing.

“Yeah,” I admit, twisting my lips and glancing away from the screen. “Once.”

When I look back at Taxi, her expression sobers. “Trudy might have mentioned something. A year ago, during that Fourth of July at your house. She said you’d been engaged.” She pauses. “Want to tell me about it?”

No. Yes. I exhale and scrub a hand down my face.

“It was a long time ago. And I wasn’t engaged. Not officially.” I draw in a deep breath as I tip back in my office chair. “I met Bailey my sophomore year of college. And I thought she was my everything.” I openly admit, a weak smile meeting the old memory. A blonde beauty with an easy smile who seemed as attracted to me as I’d instantly been to her.

“We dated for years and I planned to propose. But then . . .” I pause, feeling my pulse pick up. “I told you about my dad dying, and my decision to take care of my siblings. Football or family, the choice was easy for me. Not that it wasn’t hard to let go of the dream of professional football, but my family . . .” I drift off. I hadn’t needed to think about it. “But I couldn’t ask Bailey to make a choice.”

“But did you ask her or did you make the decision for her?” Taxi defends, woman sticking up for another woman.

“I didn’t need to ask.”

“What do you mean?” Taxi perches her chin in her hand, staring back at me through the screen with confusion etched on her forehead.

“I didn’t make my decision immediately or lightly. I was still in this state of grieving my dad and trying to figure out what happened to him. What would happen to all of them. Processing what I was going to do. Clay begged me to go. We needed the money.”

The family business—Sylver Seed & Soil—was hanging on by a thread back then. Another one of our mother’s dreams almost dead. Clay never went to college, throwing himself into keeping the business afloat as best he could. He was the only one able to tolerate Dad. Truthfully, he’d just found a way to work around the worn-out old man.

“I put us on pause,” I admit. “Asked her to give me a little time.”

Taxi’s breath hitches.

“I figured if we could weather the storm of the moment, we’d make it through anything.” My voice quiets, and I lower my gaze. “And I guess, a big part of me hoped she’d choose me anyway.”

“If you didn’t become a professional football player?” Taxi confirms, her agitation growing.

“If I took on the responsibility of raising my six siblings.” I glance up. “But I knew it would never be fair to ask.”