Page 81 of Promise

We don’t need words. We need time. Not the distance behind us, but a slow, steady pace dragging us forward.

I’m not going anywhere.

Still, the silence kills me, and I realize maybe she does want her privacy. Maybe she needs time without me to process what happened. I don’t want to crowd her. I don’t want to control her.

I press a kiss to her shoulder. “I’ll give you space.”

Slowly untangling our arms, I slip away and turn for the shower door. I’m just pressing it forward when her arms wrap around my middle. Her cheek rests on my spine. I close my eyes.

“I’m scared,” she admits.

It’s all I need to know. I spin to her, tucking her into my chest, cupping the back of her head. “I’m scared too.”

Scared that I’m too late. Scared that I’ll lose her. Scared that I’ll lose Mirabelle.

Everything I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me, and I might be too late to grasp it.

“Can you tell me what you’re afraid of?”

“I’m afraid you’ll leave. You’ll still love me, but you’ll go.” She pulls back to look into my eyes. Hers reflect liquid pools of darkness, accented by fear and confusion

I did that to her. I put that fear there. I took what I was most afraid of myself and turned it on her. Being left as a child by both my parents. Being unloved by my grandparents. Feeling abandoned most of my life and promising I’d never do that to another person. That I’d never do it to her . . . my person.

And I did.

“Can you ever forgive me, Trin? Am I too far gone from you?” I cup the sides of her face, the warm water pelting our sides.

“I do. I have.” She swallows, lowering her eyes. “But it still hurts.” A sob escapes and she quickly covers her mouth with her hand.

Forgive but not forget. Not yet.

I tug her back to me. “No more hiding, Trin. For either of us. You’ve got to tell me these things. I’m a guy, baby. I need my hand held and my heart explained.”

She soggily chuckles, only a sliver of the tension cracked.

“I’m here, Trinity. I’m here.” I lower my voice, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Forever.”

She nods against me, but I’m not certain she firmly believes me.

“I might have been physically away from you, but I was never gone. Never without you.” She was always in my thoughts, in my heart.

Her arms tighten around my middle, and I squeeze mine harder around her shoulders.

“We just need time.”

In racing, you want the best time. The fastest speed. The lowest number on the clock.

But this . . . there’s no rush. We aren’t measuring our pace with stopwatches.

“I’m here for all of it.” Eternity and beyond, but I need to stop talking. I’m afraid I’m only messing further with her head.

Right now, we need to focus on this moment. “How are you feeling right now? About what we did?”

Does she regret it? Did she hate it? Did I hurt her?

She pulls back a little bit, releasing her arms from me. “I feel like it needed to happen.”

I softly smile, swiping at the hair clinging to the sides of her face.