Page 26 of Fall Love

“You want to be a father?” I scoff in disbelief, but he continues to keep his eyes on me, the glare in them earnest.

He wants to be a father. A little part of me skips at the thought. I was so close to my dad, and I’d love that for Little Wrench.

But what does that mean for me?

He comes and goes as he pleases? Make promises and then break them because he has to work? At some point, he’ll need to go home because he doesn’t live here.

We don’t have much experience with divorce in Lovewell Landing, and Tate and I aren’t even married. We’d be co-parenting partners, living in two separate states. Not ideal.

“To start, I only thought you should know.”

He stares at me. “Well, I guess I should be grateful.” He sounds terse instead. “But I wish I’d known sooner.”

“Why?” I ask, tilting my head.

“Why?” He snorts. “Because you’ve gotten to do all the fun stuff. Hear her heartbeat for the first time. See her development. You did have an ultrasound, right?”

I choke on sarcastic laughter. “Yeah, fun stuff. I’m as big as a barn. My ankles are three sizes too large. I don’t sleep well. Heartburn is a nice trip, and I’m scared as hell about how this pumpkin is going to push through my vagina.”

Tate stares at me, then he bursts out laughing.

“It’s not friggin’ funny,” I counter.

“You are friggin’ beautiful, Neve.” His laughter settles. “And I missed all the changes for you as well. Morning sickness. Body changes. Swollen ankles.” He waves toward my feet. “I missed out on supporting you.”

As his voice drops lower, my pulse picks up. I’m surprised that he’s upset he missed me puking in a toilet and no longer able to wear my regular clothes, while equally shocked at how genuinely upset he seems about missing these things with me.

“I’ll be here now.” His statement feels more like a warning than a grand gesture. “I’ll be there when you have her. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

That’s what I’m most afraid of. He’ll stay. I’ll grow attached. She’ll grow attached. And then something will happen, and we’ll lose him.

It might be a totally unreasonable thought, and yet it might be totally rational, and I can only blame the what if spiral on pregnancy brain because I don’t know this man. Not really.

CHAPTER 10

[Neve]

Monday is a holiday, but we’d be closed anyway, so it isn’t until Tuesday that I pull up in front of Rusty’s Wrecks, taking in the faded red logo and the sea salt-stained glass windows. The geraniums I purchased to liven up the main entrance now look as worn out as the rest of the place.

I can’t even remember the first time my dad brought me to the shop, because I was that young. I just knew that the fragrance of gasoline and oil was sweet to me and the essence of my dad. His mechanic bibs were saturated in the scent. His sleeves always rolled up. His hands thick from precise manual labor.

He taught me how to check a dipstick and listen for the hiss of transmission fluid. He taught me to change a battery and a tire. He taught me how to care for a vehicle, saying it would take care of me in return.

Just look at the Bronco. Over fifty years old because we restored her piece by piece in this place, through years of patience. Spare moments here and there. Spare finances, hard-earned.

Dad was in every brick of this building.

As I stand here and stare at it, I’m so lost in thought, in memories, that I don’t hear Lumi approach.

“Hey,” she says quietly.

My sister is taller than me, and slimmer than I am, even when I’m not pregnant. Her hair is long and dark, the signature color of all the Snowe sisters, but she has a crimson rinse on hers, giving it a red-wine glow. Her eyes are more sapphire blue, while mine are sky colored, or so I’m told, but blue eyes are also a mark of the Snowe girls.

When I turn to face her, there’s someone else I recognize just behind her.

Tate.

After being absent for months, now it feels like he’s everywhere. And he’s encroaching on this moment.