Page 43 of Fall Love

“Is it difficult?” I ask. “Being pregnant?” It’s not like I haven’t known pregnant women, but I definitely have never asked them this question.

“It ain’t easy,” she jokes, attempting to stand from the foot of the bed.

I do move and cup her elbow, helping her to her feet.

“But it hasn’t all been hard.”

“Tell me.” I’m nearly breathless asking. “Tell me everything.”

“You really want to know?”

Standing at the foot of her bed, we stare at one another.

“I really want to know.” I don’t want to point out that I’ve missed out on most of this process.

“Why?”

I shrug again, afraid to share the truth. Afraid to tell her how much I want a wife, a partner, and to experience a pregnancy together. Instead, I tell her a partial truth.

“I was going to be a doctor.”

Her eyes widen.

“A gynecologist.”

“Get the fuck out.” Her Maine accent comes on strong.

“Seriously. I was in medical school, and I already knew my path, but then we watched this labor and delivery video.”

Neve covers her mouth.

“I felt a little sick.”

“The stretching?” Her voice is shaky.

“The blood.”

Neve fake-gags. “I know that one.”

“I rushed out of the lecture room and threw up in a trash can in the hallway.”

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah. Dropped out of medical school and went into business instead. Big disappointment for my parents.”

I don’t know why I tack on that end part, and I swipe at my hair, even knowing it will annoy her. Still, I can’t stop myself. And she’s watching me. Not my hair, but my face, my eyes.

“My dad.” I clear my throat. “I told you he’s a doctor, right?”

She nods.

“My older brother is a doctor, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” I exhale. “Dad wasn’t happy.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is soft, her words kind. “My dad was never disappointed in me. Not like that, so I’m sorry that happened to you. Parents should love their children for who they are.”