Page 40 of Of Magic and Murder

But I can’t. The reality is that he only feels this need to take care of me because he is a protective alpha wolf, and because my messed-up locator spell is still tying us together. So while I want to play this dangerous game with him, I know better than to do that.

I turn away from him, prepared to put some distance between us.

“Penelope?”

Don’t do it, don’t do it⁠—

I look back. “Yes?”

“You shared something with me. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to do the same.”

“Um. Yeah.” I face him again because, well, how can I say no? “Please. Go ahead.”

“You asked me once how I ended up cursed. At the time, I was too embarrassed to admit what I did to earn it. To be honest, I’m still embarrassed. Ashamed, too. But I’d like you to know.”

“Riordan—”

“If you don’t want that burden, I understand.” He scoffs at himself. “I’d prefer it because then… then you wouldn’t know the truth about how big of an asshole I am.”

I move until I’m standing right in front of him. Before I can think better of it, I lay my hand on his arm. “You’re not an asshole. And I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I promise, it won’t change how I feel about you.”

He gives me a curious look. “How you feel about me?”

“You’re a good male, Riordan Lobo. A kind guy. You’re loyal and you do a wonderful job as the Beta and as the chief deputy. You’ve got a good sense of humor and a great appetite. We’re friends.”

“Friends,” he echoes hollowly. “Okay. I hope you’ll still consider me your friend later. You see, it all happened about… sixteen years ago now? I was nineteen, the Alpha-heir. I knew I was going to be the big shot in town one day, and because I would lead the pack only after my old man handed it over to me, I was a real prick about it. Real entitled. I treated my brother like shit because, as second-born, he was destined to be my Beta. I expected that, every time I said ‘jump’, someone else would say ‘how hi?’. And then Esmeralda came to town to visit Delilah at the coven house.

“She was a powerful dark witch from Georgia. I crossed paths with her, not knowing who she was. But I thought I deserved her respect. That was my mistake. The future Alpha… everyone should’ve respected me, and I was nasty when she didn’t. She said… she said that I shouldn’t wait until I had the power to control Moonburrow, and she cursed me. From that moment on, everyone had to do what I said, no ifs ands or buts about it.”

I stay quiet. I know how much it’s costing Riordan to tell me this, just like his confession is just confirming most of everything I either knew or suspected.

“I’ve carried this curse for more than fifteen years, Pen. I had to learn how to live with it. Of course I couldn’t be Alpha—who would follow me if I could take away their free will like that? You need the respect of a pack. You can’t just take it. I learned that, and for so long, I was so good. And then I met you, and all of my restraint went out the window.”

“Please don’t apologize again,” I murmur. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to, but you… you don’t have to. Mistakes happen.”

“Yes,” he agrees, matching my soft tone. “Sometimes they do. And sometimes Fate works in mysterious ways. Don’t you think?”

“I—” My words falter. I look up at Riordan, and I swear I see something written in every line on his face. Sometime I can’t quiet understand. Something⁠—

“So,” interrupts that same familiar female voice. “Did you get any leads on my murder yet, or are you too busy chasing some wolf tail, Penelope?”

Goddess damn it.

Suddenly, my cheeks are scorching. I wheel around to find Olivia hovering in between two trees, a prissy look on her face and her arm crossed over her chest. She lifts his eyebrows as she glances from the wolf shifter to me and back.

I don’t appreciate the insinuation, but if I say so, I’m sure I’ll hear her say something like ‘the lady doth protest too much’. That’s why, instead, I just shrug. “We’re doing our best.”

“Let me guess.” Riordan’s voice turns gruff. “Company?”

Unfortunately. “Yes.” I gesture at the trees. “Olivia just appeared.”

He glares about two feet to the left of the ghost. “Didn’t Ms. Willows tell you that we work better when we don’t have the victim staring over our shoulders?”

Olivia sniffs. “Ms. Willow, huh? What happened to Pen?”

I hate that I was thinking the same thing.

She makes a big display of glancing around. “What are you doing over here? This isn’t where I died.”