Page 101 of Gin and Bear It

“Ah.”

“But about your wife,” she says. “You’re afraid that the distance would create a rift?”

“Yeah.”

“Mm. I was faced with a similar problem once. I was younger than you are now, but I had to choose between my then-partner and moving to be closer to where everything was happening in the industry,” she says. “They couldn’t move with me for a number of reasons. I’ve had a lot of opportunities come my way, but not a single one was as good as they were. You can make an opportunity with enough networking. But you can’t find love under every other rock.”

I watch Jada come closer. Her eyes go to Ruby, then to me, then fill with worry. My throat feels tight.

“The incubator isn’t forever—most stay about six months—but many people go on to other parts of the industry,” she continues.

“Out into a world of pressure and deadlines,” I add. “The stuff that kind of sucks the joy out of it for me.”

Ruby shrugs one shoulder, crossing her free arm across her chest. “It’s part of the game, even though I’m trying to create a space for songwriters to let loose and kickstart their careers. But the incubator is an escape. If you want to make it in the industry, you have to dive in with purpose.”

Diving in. As much as I love writing songs, the idea of going from the stress of being in Cinematicas to the constant pressure of producers, artists, and labels sounds like going from bad to worse. I don’t have to worry about money anymore, and I like working for Stryker Liquors. It’s nice to have contrast in my life—the office versus me at home, immersed in my work.

It’s fulfilling. Isn’t that all I really need at this point?

I feel ridiculous for even worrying about what to do now.

My decision clicks into place, and I know it’s permanent. I need to talk to Jada.

THIRTY-THREE

JADA

“These heels were a bad call,” I say as Ash gently pulls me down a path along the edge of the beach. “Hold on. My feet are killing me.

He helps me keep balance as I kick my heels off, then takes them from me. His determination to get away from the reception is absurd. The moment I was within arm’s reach, he snagged my hand, excused himself from Ruby, and started walking.

“Where are we going?” I ask. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fucking perfect,” he says.

I couldn’t hear what he and Ruby were talking about, but the fact that they were talking at all made me nauseous. After sobbing at how sweet the ceremony was, my desire to stay with him only increased. We haven’t been together as long as Waylon and Bianca, of course, but I can see our relationship growing like that.

He could be letting me down gently away from everyone. Oh god.

A little gazebo is set off the path, with a view over the water. My heart pounds even faster. I really doubt he remembers that I’ve always wanted to be proposed to in a gazebo. He wouldn’t break up with me in one, would he?

“Ash, why are we out here?” I ask once we get to the gazebo.

“Because I’m staying,” he says. “I want to stay in Jepsen with you and actually make this official. I’m not going to do the incubator or songwriting in Nashville.”

My stomach drops, then lifts. I feel like throwing up again but just for the abrupt shift from anxiety to elation. He’s staying. With me.

It takes me several seconds to process the flood of emotions going through my head. The ideas of our future together. There’s no cap on them now. Just pure hope and excitement.

“Are you sure?” I ask when the rest of this fact sinks in—he’s giving up a lot, too. “The opportunity in Nashville, though. That could work. It’d be a long commute, but it’s doable.”

“I know. But it’s not just the distance. I want songwriting to be something for me. I’ll make royalties off the band’s old songs for a long time, so why continue to chase recognition?” He cups my face. “I just want you.”

For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me. But instead, he gets down on one knee.

“I didn’t do this last time, but I feel like now’s a good time,” he says. “I don’t have a ring, I just have this gazebo and some hope. Will you stay married to me, Jada?”

I put my hand over my mouth so I don’t let out an embarrassing sound. But I’m so shaken up that I nearly join him on my knees in this damn gazebo, like I always dreamed of. He’s looking up at me, that hope he mentioned in his eyes.