Page 106 of Serenity Falls

‘Oh, I don’t know. I can see a likeness … in the right light.’

‘You mean darkness.’

We laugh again. It feels easy, less formal than when we met in the classroom.

Our wine arrives. Lori thanks Carl and we both take a sip. It’s crisp and delicious and it makes me think, again, of Nat.

‘You okay?’ Lori asks.

‘Yes, I just realized I haven’t drunk white wine in a while.’

‘Oh, any reason?’

I hesitate and then decide to be upfront. ‘My wife was the wine buff. But then, just over ten years ago, she walked out, disappeared without a trace.’

‘I’m so sorry.’

I nod. ‘Thanks.’

‘Do you mind me asking what happened?’

‘She had mental health issues … I begged her to get help, but she wouldn’t. I know, rationally, that she’s probably dead. But it’s still difficult—’

‘You can’t grieve or get over it. If you give up hope, it feels like you’re betraying her.’

I look up. Few people get it. But then, I suppose she is a therapist.

‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘Not exactly keeping it light.’

‘No, that’s fine. I prefer honesty. And if we’re being honest, I should probably address the elephant in the room.’

‘Oh?’

‘Poor Frankie drowning in your pool.’

‘Ah. Yes. I suppose everyone knows about that.’

She nods. ‘Small towns. They’ll know you’ve broken wind before you smell it yourself.’

I burst out laughing. ‘That’s apt.’

She smiles, softer. ‘But seriously, things like that, well, they stick with us, even when we don’t realize.’

I raise an eyebrow.

‘I think of trauma like a tick,’ she continues. ‘You feel the bite, maybe it itches for a while, but then you forget about it. You don’t realize it’s still there, burrowed under the skin, feeding on you. Sometimes you need someone to pull that thing right out, even if it hurts.’

I nod. ‘This therapist talk?’

She holds her hands up. ‘Guilty as charged. Plus, I used to have a dog, and I’ve pulled a lot of ticks.’

‘I guess you’re right, I mean, we’ve got this beautiful pool, but neither Sadie nor I have so much as dipped a toe in.’

‘Perfectly normal. It will take some time. But you’ll get there.’ Another sip of wine. ‘How did your daughter take it?’

I consider. ‘She’s pretty resilient, but, you know, she’s a teen, so she doesn’t tell me everything.’

‘Again, that’s normal.’