Page 97 of Never Forget

“I want to, Scott. But I can’t.”

“Please don’t do this.”

Naz makes a choked sound, like a cross between a sob and a scoff. “Do you know how much of my life is spent wondering if people actually give a damn or if they’re just trying to get something from me? Other than the guys, I have no one that I can trust.”

“You can trust me.”

“Why would I?”

“Because I love you.”

The laugh that falls from his lips is forced, raspy and painful.

“You don’t love me, Scott. You love the idea of me.”

The way his voice cracks when he says it worries me. Like he actually believes it. I reach out to take his hand, trying to get him to look me in the eye and see that I love him, the idea of him, and the reality of him all the same.

But Naz pulls away, clearing his throat and hardening his features. “You love what you get from being associated with me, the fame that comes from being with me.”

“I never⁠—”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t benefited from this relationship, Scott. You were just a bodyguard, a nobody anyone had ever heard of. And now, they make memes about you. Strangers stop you on the street. Back in New York, it was you they recognized first, not me.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“You sure about that?” Naz scoffs. “Everyone’s looking at you now.” His voice hardens. “You’re the guy who put Naz Lester on his knees. Made him beg. Humiliated him for the whole world to see.”

I think I might be sick.

“Congratulations. You were a nobody. And now you’re somebody. Enjoy your fifteen minutes,” he says, turning towards the door.

I can hear footsteps on the gravel. Cory and maybe one or two others is about to come in here and end this. I’m ready for it to be over, anyway. This is brutal, and I’ve lost sense of what is real or not.

Losing Naz is my biggest fear. I’ve made so many mistakes. He forgave me when I put him in danger, but how could he forgive me for taking the one thing he cared about. His pride, yes, but it’s more than that. That recording obliterated his safe space. It ruined his chances of ever being able to get out of his head and let go.

“I’d give it all back if it meant I could keep you.”

“You never had me, Scott,” he says, his voice flat and detached. Distant. Like the way he was when I first started and he couldn’t bear to let me see him. “This was always meant to be temporary. Something to do until I got bored.”

“No,” I whisper.

Naz lets out another huff of cruel laughter. And then he finally looks at me.

“I’m a goddamned rockstar. I can have anyone I want.”

With his eyes boring into my very soul, he lands his final blow. “Why would I want you?”

Those are his last words before he opens the door to let Cory and Eric in. Zane is outside, waiting to take my place as Naz’s personal shadow until further notice. Naz looks back once before the door slams shut and I can no longer see him.

“Come on, Scott, get up.”

I shake my head no, forgetting the recording device doesn’t have a visual on us. “No,” I say out loud. “You can’t do this to me. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“All the evidence says otherwise,” Cory says calmly. “But honestly, it doesn’t matter.”

Even though my mind is reeling and my heart is broken from whatever that performance was, I try to remember the lines I practiced. No matter if Naz wants me or not, I still have a chance to make contact with the man who started all this.

“So what? I make one mistake, and I’m just thrown out on my ass?”