Page 24 of Dark Auctioned Mate

Elle smiled. “It is a very intense bond.”

“Did you…” Alanis hesitated, and then she resolved to ask. “Did you go through a heat?”

“Yes.” Elle smiled wistfully. “But not until much, much later. It happened so suddenly. I could not be in the same room with him without wanting to climb him like a tree, and Silas—well, I have nothing to say about him other than the fact that he was very…attentive.”

Sara made a gagging sound. “Please do not talk about my brother’s sex life right in front of me.”

“I wasn’t going to!” Elle smiled and glanced at Alanis. “The heat exaggerates everything. It makes you desire things you would not normally desire, or rather, not desire so intensely. And with the attachment…” She nibbled on her lower lip. “The bond will feel right, while your rational mind is telling you that it is too soon, too fast, and too much.”

“So…it gets better? The intensity fades?”

“It does,” Elle affirmed. “Eventually. But the bond itself… that does not die. You just need to learn to live with it.”

“But what if I don’t want to live with it?” The words slipped out before she could stop them. The silence that followed was heavy. Sara looked uncomfortable, and Elle’s expression became neutral. “I apologize. I shouldn’t have—”

“No, it’s okay.” Elle offered her a small smile. “Can I tell you something about my personal experience?”

Alanis nodded.

“I used to despise it when I first came here. When Silas first brought me here, I hated him because he deprived me of my choice, I hated the pack because they stared at me like I was an outsider, I hated the bond because it made me feel the things I did not want to feel. I was planning how to get out, how to get back to my former life.”

“What changed?” Alanis asked.

“Time and knowing who he was after all, under the Alpha persona.” Her smile became wider as she continued. “He is not a perfect man, nor are any of them, but he is a good man.”

“The best of them all is Rael,” Sara said in a matter-of-fact tone. “He is also the most emotionally stable, the most patient, least prone to do something stupid and impulsive.”

“Not that high a bar,” Elle muttered to herself, though she was smiling.

“My point is,” Sara went on, turning to Alanis, “he will allow you the room when you need it, he will defend you when you need that, and he will not force you into anything you are not ready to do.”

Alanis remembered how he stopped himself from going into her room the other night and yesterday in the kitchen, when he stopped as things were going too far, because he insisted on her being certain.

Perhaps Sara was right. Maybe Rael was a good man. But that didn’t change the fundamental problem: she still didn’t know if she could trust this pack, this place, this life that had been forced on her.

“I need to move,” she said abruptly and stood up. “I am sitting too still, and it is making me antsy.”

“Would you like to take a walk?” Sara offered.

“Actually…” Alanis hesitated, after which she came to a decision. “I heard there was training this afternoon. Fight training. Do you suppose we could see?”

Elle and Sara shared a look. “You want to see the black ops training?” Elle asked.

“I want to see what you all do. How you train and learn something, maybe.” Shrugging, she continued, “I know I cannot shift, but that does not mean that I cannot fight.”

Sara’s face lit up. “You want to learn how to fight?”

She already knew how to fight, but they did not need to know that. “I need to learn how to hold my own, you know.”

The Lumen had taught her a great deal of hand-to-hand fighting and arms. She wished to show this pack that she was not a useless being. That being shiftless did not render her helpless. But not yet.

Also, even though she hated it, she would like to see Rael in action. It was the heat talking. Had to be.

“Training begins in an hour,” Sara said, and stood up with barely suppressed excitement. “I will take you to the training grounds. Oh, this will be so much fun!”

The training grounds were bigger than Alanis had imagined, a large clearing that was bordered by woodland with several sparring circles marked out. Groups had already been formed. Some were stretching, others checking weapons. All of them exuded that certain vitality which always accompanied the anticipation of battle.

Alanis, Sara, and Elle were at the edge of the clearing. Alanis tried to appear confident despite the new wave of heat-related discomfort that was sweeping through her body. The timing was impossible. Her skin was too sensitive, and she was feeling too self-conscious. The last thing she needed was to be in the midst of testosterone-driven shifters while her hormones went haywire.