Page 20 of The Way Love Heals

“Pieces of it.”

“I’ll listen to whatever you want to say.”

I held my finger up, jogged over to the machine, and cut it off. Once I made it back to Brittish, I continuously threw the ball back and forth in my glove while explaining. “My grandmother raised me and my siblings. Renee has never had a motherly bone in her body. She liked to put on a front for other people, but most people could see right through it. The reasons my relationship with her is fractured the most runs deeply. She used me and my love for baseball for years. I was young and assumed she was trying to do better by us, but she was simply doing what she thought was right to stay ahead in life.”

I wasn’t quite ready to reveal my abuse to Brittish, but it felt good giving her small pieces of me. She was someone I needed to talk to my therapist about. I needed guidance on what to do when it came to her because Brittish was already working her way into my heart, and it wasn’t just the sex either.

It was the way she stood there gazing at me with an immense amount of concern and empathy. She said she didn’t want to be anything more than friends, but when she kissed me back earlier, the passion behind it told on her.

Brittish was feeling me, but there was something holding her back from fully indulging. I understood, so being her friend was the next best thing.

“I hate that, Nyle. I truly do.” She bit her bottom lip and harshly blew through her nostrils. “Being a mother, that pisses me off. I love AJ with every fiber of my being. He comes first in all I do. His love and passions aren’t meant for me to get ahead. They’re meant for him while I pour into him. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Hearing Brittish say that about AJ sent a mixture of emotions through me. When I was younger, I envied the boys who had that special type of relationship with their mother. Hell, even their fathers. It was something I was deprived of, but the older I got, the more I realized I needed to be thankful for Nannie and all she’d done for me. She was the mother I needed.

“I’m healed from it, but at times, I’m triggered. Like now. Renee showed up at my nannie’s house looking for me, and Nannie let her ass have it.” I chuckled thinking about her feisty self rolling her neck and pointing her finger with each word. “It just makes me wonder what will happen if I run into her.”

“What do you think will happen?”

“Truthfully, I’ll either have a setback, snap, or both. Either way, I don’t want to find out, so I’m praying she stays wherever she is.”

Brittish stepped in close, invading my personal space with her arms out. I nodded, and she slid her arms around my torso and laid her head on my chest. My arms went around her neck, and I rested my chin on top of her head.

Comfort and peace. Those were the two words to describe the way my soul felt being wrapped in Brittish. It was something I could find myself getting used to, but deep down, I couldn’t until she gave me the green light.

All throughout AJ’s practice, if my eyes weren’t on him, they were on Nyle. I tried my hardest to ignore chatter about him. The other moms were absolutely swooning over him, and they had every right to, especially today.

His arms were on full display in the fitted, dry fit tank he wore, showing off how muscular and tattooed they were. While they talked about how good he looked, I had the pleasure of knowing what those arms felt like wrapped around me. Whenever they were, I felt calm and safe, something no man had made me feel in a long time.

Sweat glistened on Nyle’s body. His hair wasn’t in its usual bun. It hung in a low, braided ponytail, one I assumed his sister had done for him. The thought of it being any other woman sent a surge a jealousy through me. I’d had the pleasure of running my hands through it. His reaction was the reason I didn’t want any other woman to experience it outside of his sister.

Girl, get it together. You’re the one who said to only be friends.

The more I talked to Nyle, the more he changed my mind. I was beginning to love his random video calls. He’d do it at least once throughout the day, and I looked forward to it since the first time he’d done so. We texted often, but we hadn’t seen one another since he popped up on me at my job three days ago. I could tell the situation with his mother still bothered him, but he wasn’t showing it with the boys.

Practice ended, and I saw Asher pull up. He had an appointment during AJ’s practice, so I was surprised to see him come back when I agreed to take him home with me. With my arm around AJ’s shoulder, we walked over to Asher’s car.

“Hey, Asher. I didn’t think you’d be here,” I expressed just as AJ started poking me everywhere. I slapped his hand and did the same to him. It amazed me how big my baby was. At eleven, AJ was only two inches shorter than me at five feet two. He loved reminding me that he’d be taller than me within a year, and I told him it was easy to be taller than me.

“I didn’t think I’d make it back on time, but the doctor was quick today. I had to get some bloodwork.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. You know Zaina stays on me about going to my yearly checkups. I’ve been going faithfully for the last three years.”

I snickered. “My girl doesn’t play with you.”

“At all, but it’s needed.” Asher opened his door and got out to help AJ put his stuff in the trunk. After AJ gave me love and promised to call me later, Asher stayed put in front of me.

“What’s on your mind, Asher?”

He nodded toward Nyle. “What’s up with you and Coach?”

“We’re friends. That’s all.”

“Zaina told me you left with him on her birthday night.”

“Oh, I’m going to get her. Not y’all pillow talking about me.” I found it amusing, but I knew it was all out of love. There was no animosity between any of us.