Page 43 of The Way Love Heals

“If I become distant, I’m sorry. It won’t be intentional, but I’m not confident enough in myself to say I won’t be. When I’m deep in my mind, I pull away from everyone. You can ask my family. It took me a long time to come out the shell I’d become. Slowly, I feel the shell forming around me again.”

I had to be honest with her. Brittish didn’t deserve for me to go silent on her again without explanation. I wanted her to know I was trying my hardest not to, and honestly, she was helping me. Anytime a layer of shell formed, she somehow removed it. It was as if she knew.

She palmed the side of my face. “Remember what I told you. Just let me know beforehand. Even in the Bible it talks about staying to yourself when things get heavy, so I get it. Just know I won’t be too far away. I’ll always be within reach.”

The last thing I wanted was for Brittish to slip through my grasp. I’d be a fool to lose the one woman who loved and understood me, the woman who was sticking by my side through what was becoming another dark moment for me. More than anything, I needed God to guide me through it. She wasn’t the only person I needed to show up for, and I refused to let any of them down.

I’d missed two practices. Weston kept asking what was wrong, but I told him it was personal. Even Zaina and AJ were concerned. My biggest thing was that I didn’t want my energy to rub off on the boys, so I stayed away, but I knew I couldn’t do it again.

Right now, life was hard, but I’d get through it. One day at a time.

Nyle hadn’t been himself lately, but he’d pushed his emotions to the side and planned a surprise date night for us. Earlier in the day, he sent me a text, telling me to be ready at five because he was taking me somewhere. I was nervous and excited. Nervous because I wasn’t sure what type of headspace he was in, and excited to just be with him.

Regardless of his mental state, Nyle still gave me reasons to love him. Despite that one time, he continued to give me the reassurance I needed. He listened when I said I needed him to let me know how he was. His efforts were there, and for that, I was grateful.

Nyle told me to dress comfortably. Since it was still hot outside, I wore a comfortable, matching short set with my wig pulled up into a high ponytail. I wasn’t sure what we’d be doing, so I wore minimal makeup in case it involved sweat. Hopefully, my night would end with Nyle’s sweat dripping onto my body. We hadn’t been intimate in over a week, because I was on my period, but Mother Nature was gone, and I was craving my man.

When my doorbell rang, I grabbed my things and headed to open the door for him. My lips stretched into a smile upon seeing us sporting the same colors. The nude and black paired well with his complexion. I gave him a nod of approval before taking the roses from him. He stepped in and lightly kissed me.

I thumbed my lip gloss from his lips and said, “Hey, handsome.”

“Hey, Pretty Lady. I see you’re trying to copy me.”

“Never that. I can bet you I had my outfit picked out before you even thought about it.”

He laughed, a good, genuine laugh that showed his teeth. It was one I’d missed. One I hadn’t heard since he’d been in a bad mental space, and it was like music to my ears.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I picked this out when I got out the shower.”

“And I had mine picked out when you texted me, so I won.” I winked at him and went to put my roses in water before we headed out.

Hand in hand, we rode through the city. I was proud of Nyle, but I wouldn’t speak on it. He had become comfortable touching me without permission, and I loved how easy it seemed for him now.

The song I’d sung to him the other night filled the space around us. I hummed along, feeling the words in my soul. Nyle smoothly bobbed his head to it, and I caught him mouthing some of the words.

“Let me find out you like my taste in music,” I teased.

“I can’t front like I don’t. I’ve secretly added some of the songs I’ve heard with you to my playlist. You have me on my love stint, and I’m not mad at it.”

“I’m not either. You give me a reason to resonate with these songs, so I love listening to them.”

“It’s the same for me.” He leaned over and turned the music down. “I want to do something for AJ, but I want to make sure I’m not overstepping.”

“And what’s that?”

“Banks Callahan is having an event at the stadium, and I want to take him. AJ will be able to meet all the Cougar players, get autographs, and do some drills with them. I wanted to do it for the team, but I figured it would be a good event for us to take AJ to as a couple. One on one time with him will be good.”

“Oh, Nyle. He’ll absolutely love that. When is it?”

“Next month, I think. I gotta double-check. A part of me feels bad for only wanting to take him, so I’m going to reach out to the head coach and see if I can organize something at the facility for everyone who’s a member there.”

“That’s an amazing idea, honestly. I could see it being beneficial for your business as well because I can bet that you’ll gain new members.”

Nyle chuckled. “I thought that, too, but I don’t want it to be a thing where they only want to join for that month and leave. I want it to be useful to everyone who signs up beyond that.”

“Well, make that clear from the jump. You can’t control what people do, but you can encourage them to think about the future benefits.”

“You’re right, Brittish. I’m going to talk with my team about it and see how it goes.”