Page 12 of Show Me

Dad clears his throat. “She’s been taking general classes.”

I close my eyes for half a second. I should’ve never told him about school. I’ve not even told my best friends, Bella and Emily, about the classes I’ve been taking. “Dad….”

“What? I’m proud of you.” Dad adjusts his weight like he has nowhere to put his hands.

“It’s nothing.” I shrug, willing the heat to dissipate. I hate the way my cheeks turn pink when I’m flushed. “Just general stuff. I’ve done everything online.”

“Nothing?” Dad frowns like he’d prefer to shake me than listen to me downplay my studies.

When we graduated, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so instead of going to college and wasting money on classes I wasn’t sure I’d ever use, I went to work. I’ve cashiered at the grocery store, waited tables at the Burger Bunker, shelved books at the library, and now I answer the phone at the gym. I’m not sure what I want to do with my future, but I’ll finish my general studies next semester.

Dr. Carter studies me, not unkindly. Just… seeing more than I want her to.

“Well,” she says after a beat, “you’ve got good instincts.”

I nod, unsure what to do with that.

She tears a page from her pad and hands it to Dad. “Keep an eye on her over the next couple of days. Call if anything looks off.”

He clears his throat again. “Will do.”

The piglets are easier to face than Dad.

Her boots echo across the barn floor before fading into the yard. She fishes something from her pocket, unwraps it with one hand, and pops it into her mouth before climbing into the truck.

The frantic birthing process is over, leaving the barn more subdued. The piglets nurse, tiny bodies pressed close. The sow shifts, content.

“You don’t have to do everything alone, Ruby.”

There it is. The lecture that always comes with our conversations. I know he worries about me, but I’m not as fatalistic as he thinks. At least, I don’t think I am. “I’m not alone.”

“You’ve got a house that needs work, a job, and classes on top of it.” His voice stays even, not pushing, just stating facts. He snatches his flannel shirt off the ground, shaking it. The movement sends pieces of straw fluttering. “That’s a lot.”

Maybe that’s why I was hoping Xavier would show up. To take some of the weight off my shoulders. Maybe it had nothing to do with him in particular.

If I tell myself that enough times, I might even make it true.

I shove my hands into my pockets to keep from picking at my cuticles. Bella’s planning to do my nails later this week, and I’d rather not ruin that.

He watches me for a long moment. “You’re allowed to lean on people, you know.”

I huffs a breath. “I lean.”

“When?”

I open my mouth. Close it because I don’t have a good answer.

The barn creaks around us. Outside, the wind picks up, rattling something loose against the side of the building.

“The house, the job, everything. I’ve got it.”

Dad nods once, like he expected that answer. “Alright.” But he doesn’t look convinced.

After yanking my hands out of my pockets, I wipe them on my jeans. “I should head out. I’ve got a shift in the morning.”

“Drive safe.” He says it as he checks the gate latch.

“Always do.” I grab my bag and walk to the door, pausing long enough to make sure the sow settled, piglets safe, everything where it should be.