Page 201 of Show Me

“You didn’t have to.” She adjusts against the pillow and winces.

My stomach twists hard at the sight.

“This thing between us was never supposed to be serious,” she says.

“That was before someone started throwing rocks through your windows.”

“And before someone started leaving notes about you.” Her eyes hold mine. “You’re not the one who got hit tonight.” She waves her hand in frustration. “Last night. Whatever.”

Guilt punches straight through my chest. Because she’s right. She was alone. Bleeding in the grass and calling Jake instead of me. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

“That doesn’t mean I’m just gonna walk away.”

“It does if we stick to the agreement we made.”

The words settle heavily between us. No strings. No expectations. Just fun. Every argument she’s making now sounds painfully familiar because they all came from me first.

Her voice softens. “I meant what I said earlier.”

My chest tightens again. “Ruby–”

“I’m not yours to worry about. I don’t want to be yours to worry about.”

The words hit like a punch. Because the truth is, I do worry about her. Way too much for someone who’s supposed to be ‘just a friend.’

But the second I try to force the words into something bigger, everything locks up. Commitment. Relationships. Promises. Every example I’ve ever had of those things ended badly.

My mom walked out and never came back. What am I supposed to do with that? Moms don’t leave their kids behind and never come back. And people who’re worth fighting for have people that stick around to help them through it. That’s not my story.

And standing here now, staring at Ruby, bruised and exhausted in a hospital bed, makes me want to yank my hair out. Scream until my throat bleeds. No matter what I do, it’s not enough. I can’t protect her. I don’t know how to give her what she deserves.

Ruby watches the silence stretch between us. Then she gives a small nod. “See?” Her voice is gentle now. “That’s what I thought.”

And that hurts worse than if she’d screamed at me.

Chapter One Hundred Five

Xavier

The hospital hallway is too bright as Ruby’s last words replay in my head. ‘I’m not yours to worry about. I don’t want to be yours to worry about.’ I push through the exit doors.

The cold night air hits my face hard, but it doesn’t cool off the anger boiling under my skin. Or the guilt. Because my selfishness led to her getting hurt. Because she called Jake. Because I failed her again.

I drag a hand through my hair as I stride for the truck. Her life is in danger because of me.

The engine roars to life beneath me. For a few seconds, I sit there gripping the steering wheel before pulling out of the parking lot.

I don’t consciously decide where I’m going. My hands already know. Ruby’s house looks no different than it did. The new window shines in the early morning sunshine. There’s nothing announcing that she got knocked out by some asshole.

My stomach churns as I walk the yard, scanning from side to side. The pigs stir in the straw when I step near the fence, but they settle again once they recognize me. Squirt lets out a nervous grunt when he spots me.

After I let him out, he presses his snout against my leg. “Hey, boy.”

Then I see it. Dark stains against the grass near the gate. My brain refuses to process what I’m looking at. It hits like a boulder to the gut. Blood. Ruby’s blood.

The air leaves my lungs in a rush forward. I crouch beside the disturbed patch of grass. The dirt is torn up where she must’ve fallen. A landscaping stone with dark stains that smear one edge.

My chest pangs violently. She was standing here feeding the pigs. Thinking she was safe. And someone came up behind her.