Page 143 of Angel

It was clear now; she wanted time and space away from me.

I gave her that, but truth be told, my emotions swung into extremes.

I couldn’t predict if the next second would bring gut-wrenching pain or temporary numbness.

All I experienced was the ache getting worse.

I had vivid dreams of her.

She was the first thought in my mind at dawn and the last before I slept.

I yearned and longed for her with all my soul.

But I had to allow her distance. I probably also needed that time to test my own character and prove I deserved her trust if she ever let me back in.

So I focused on what I could control.

I worked on my healing, pouring my soul into the music, and planning the downfall of Reese’s corrupt empire.

Bishop came by my place one Tuesday evening for a beer and burger, and Roxy soon came up in conversation.

I soon shared how much I was not coping with her absence.

‘Some days I’m doing fine, others I slump right into a freakin’ depression,’ I told him, tracing a line in the condensation on my bottle. ‘That’s the price I’m paying for failing her.’

Bishop listened, leaning on the counter.

‘I want Roxy back,’ I muttered, the admission cutting deep. ‘I want her to walk through that front door. I want to explore a future with her. I’ve texted her, but everything I’ve sent remains unanswered.’

I shook my head.

‘She isn’t even opening the messages. My brain can’t process how immensely I miss her. Hell, man, I can’t eat, sleep, or think. Way worse than when I got jilted.’

‘Why?’

‘Because all I do is think of her, of how she shows grace, how sweet, amazing she is and fuck, how much I love her.’

My mate arched a brow. ‘So you do love her?’

I jolted in shock.

‘Hell, first time I’ve admitted it.’

Bishop chuckled.

‘Not so hard now was it? Your mind is still playing catch-up, mate,’ Bishop said, his voice steady.

‘It’s like my head refused to believe it that my heart was hers from the moment we exchanged vows,’ I rasped, pushing a hand through my hair.

Bishop took a slow sip from his bottle.

‘Sucks that I caught on too late,’ I confessed. ‘Hell, man, I screwed this up.’

Bishop set his beer down and gazed intently at me.

‘Brother, be gentle with yourself. We’re all out here doing our best. Sometimes that isn’t good enough, so we strive harder to make it better. One day at a time.’

‘It feels like a losing battle right now,’ I said, my jaw tightening.