Page 16 of The Baron Takes a Wife

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****

He smiled as his wife closed her eyes and started to hum softly. She began to move unlike any English dancer he had ever seen, singing a soft melody he had never heard before but had occasionally caught traces of at the edge of his consciousness in the hospital. It was almost the lullaby but had a more joyous cadence, even though it still seemed to be in a minor key. She moved as if dancing in a large circle, hands up and locked with other imaginary dancers. While this had started as a joke, a provocation, as he could never resist lightly thumbing his nose at the ton, he couldn’t look away. The silver moonlight caught glints of gold in her hair and skin, warming him in the chill night air. As he watched her, he began to feel that overwhelming sense of peace that had occasionally come to him outside Balaclava when he was in her presence. In Bern, he had started to feel desire again when he read her letter and caught a trace of her familiar scent of amber. But tonight, he was sure, sure that he desired her and wanted her, and only her. Not just as a faraway angel but as a woman he could joke and laugh with. A true partner. Perhaps he had idealized her in the hospital and in his memory, but he found this woman dancing in front of him fascinating and couldn’t take his eyes off her. He would never push her to do anything she did not want, but “maybe someday” rang in his ears and gave him hope as he had not had hope in a long time.

Even if they could never be married in truth, he had to give thanks to her for helping him feel this way again since just being around her made him feel alive. He felt as if the thread that stretched between them, which had started to spin outside Balaclava, was now gilded in gold, binding him inextricably to her. Her dancing began to slow, and she looked over at him and caught his eye. She raised her right eyebrow as if in question, though he was starting to suspect she could no longer lift her left eyebrow because of her scar. Thus, he could never tell if she was surprised or laughing at him. He returned her look with his own quizzical eyebrow, then gestured with a circle of the finger as if to say, “Keep going.” He saw something in her eyes that told him she was far away from this courtyard, across the sea, dancing with ghosts. Up to this moment, he had never truly understood the unique pain of not knowing whether one’s family was alive or dead. Even if the news was the worst, one could grieve and possibly move on with life. But not knowing…he suddenly felt the heavy, impossible weight that must be on her shoulders. His heart began to ache for her, but as she turned, he caught the smile that lit her face, and he concluded that the ghosts must be better company than the ton inside.

****

A few days later, Elena walked into the music room, sat carefully, and then stretched her fingers across the keys, some on white, some on black. Then, with all her might, she brought them down. The result was certainly not music. Elena sighed. Irene made it look so easy. Elena wondered why it did not come naturally to her. She had always loved music, loved dancing and singing. Her mind wandered to her dancing in the courtyard the other night. She supposed she should feel silly about it, but it had been rather lovely. She did enjoy talking with David, but she now saw that the power in their relationship had changed. Outside Balaclava, he was dependent on her for companionship, for help. Not that she relished this position. She knew the hospital was full of convalescing men of rank from another society, but there they had merely been sick and wounded men who needed her. It had been a strange sense of power to be able to care for them on her own time when she had been at the mercy of men for so long. But last night, she felt the power her husband held in society. The power he could wield if she displeased him. But he wouldn’t use it, would he? He had promised her, and she would like to believe the man she had known outside Balaclava wouldn’t break his promise to her. She pushed her fingers down again on the keys to emphasize her conviction. The result was, sadly, still not music.

“I imagine you will hit a chord if you try enough times.”

The object of her thoughts strolled into the music room. Even with his cane, he had confidence in his stride, in his position and place in the world. She felt embarrassed, caught at the piano like a child, and could feel heat rush to her cheeks.

“Did you wish to learn?” David asked.

She started to reply and stopped herself. She thought playing the piano was a woman’s role, as she had only ever seen women play.

“Do you play, my lord?”

“David,” he corrected. “Did you wish to learn?” he repeated gently.

“I did not think gentlemen played.”

He considered her for a moment and then sat next to her, playing a few stray notes. She noticed he must have regained most of the weight he had lost during the war. His arms looked muscular and strong as his fingers graced the keys. He was so close that Elena had to force herself not to move away.

“My mother taught me as a child. She wasn’t the most conventional lady, I suppose. Her father had bought her lessons as a girl, and she took to it quickly. So, she played with me when I was a boy.”

Elena smiled, imagining a small boy playing piano with his mother. It was so different from her own childhood, but she could feel the love there. “What was she like?” she asked.

“Kind, spirited. She looked just like Irene but taller. The ton looked down on her because her family was in trade, but my father came to love her and never regretted his marriage. Rich in wife and wealth, he’d say.”

“She sounds lovely.” Elena had to crane her head to look up at him. “I’m sorry she is gone.”

“She died giving birth to Irene. My father lived for a while after, but he never really recovered from her death.”

David played idle notes with his left hand while his right was on the bench beside her. Elena impulsively put her hand on David’s.

The notes stopped abruptly.

She froze.

It was the first time she had willingly touched him since he had been back, and now it was with bare skin. She didn’t know what she meant by the touch. She had initially just meant to offer comfort, but she sensed an energy she could not name, an energy that had not been there before. Even though she was only touching him with her hand, she felt a warmth humming throughout her body, through her blood, as if something long dormant had just come to life. She did not know what to make of it, so she pulled her hand back to her lap. David stared at the space where her hand had been, then shook his head as if to clear it.

“Would you like to learn?” David repeated.

She nodded, still a little embarrassed.

“You can put your hands on top of mine. It won’t be the same because it’s your left and my right, but it’s a start to gaining confidence. That’s how my mother first taught me.”

She reached her hand out, then hesitated, unsettled by that energy she felt when she touched his hand just then.

“May I?” He gently took her hovering left hand and placed it over his right hand on the keys.

“We can start with one hand if you like.” He began to play something at a measured pace, then began to speed up. Elena could feel the vibrations of the notes, how the keys worked together to produce something more than a single note, something she could feel up and down her arms, throughout her body, thrumming like the energy just a moment ago. She knew she wasn’t playing the music herself, but there was something exhilarating about making music on the piano for the first time. And there was something indefinably lovely about her hand on top of his. She closed her eyes to savor the moment.

“Normally, you must keep them open to read the music.” She opened her eyes to find that he was smiling down at her. She smiled back for a second. She had never noticed the way his eyes hinted toward brown on the edges. Like the leaves on the trees when the season changed. She blinked and came back to herself, lifting her hand from his.

“Thank you, my lord, that was quite illuminating. I must go prepare for this evening.”