“Oh? They don’t have dicks?” I’m being silly but what is he talking about?
“They’re gay and in love with each other.”
“Though also sadists.” Tomás puts away his phone and his eyes hold mine for a long moment before he looks to Aaron. “I’ve seen them do things to women, just not fuck them.”
“I didn’t know that. Guess they played privately in rooms. Girl, sit on the floor again.” Nonchalant as ever, he slides me off his lap then goes to an open laptop at a smaller desk and starts typing.
Being called girl annoys me but it’s better than fucktoy. I should call him boy.
If I want my butt reddened.
Being unremarkable and obeying would be best if I want to conduct my own investigation. Right now, I don’t know how I can do that at this resort. I don’t think he’ll like me wandering off and interviewing people.
I sit with my legs to the side, pretending I’m unmoved by everything they discuss.
They do things to women. Things—that ordinary word takes on extra meaning around this CNC Fraternity. I will need to be careful. The more fuss I make, the more attention I get. I will obey for that reason alone.
While I’m thinking, Tomás and Mr. Loxland start discussing the party on this resort island. They’re ignoring me.
“Are you going to bring Lucy over, like the other time on the island?”
“I’ll ask Margaret when she can do it for a day.”
Something slim shines on the floor under the desk. It’s my phone. I can use this. I know exactly how, but I need luck. Please, please give me some luck. I sneak it toward me and open it but catch pieces of the conversation, as I try to be aware of them noticing my actions. I tap record on the memo app and hide the phone under my skirt near the back, opposite the men, where the shining screen won’t show.
“We’ll get a different hotel for the week there. We can’t take any devices into the resort. No phones. No laptops, and I need those to research. Ever seen profiles on the members?”
“No.” Slowly, Tomás shakes his head. “It would be dangerous to do that without permission. You should not try.”
“But if I don’t…” Loxland nudges his chin in my direction. “I promised to find the men who raped her friend…if they did do it. And I always deliver.”
“Then you must be very careful. I say this as your friend.”
“Thank you,” I venture to interrupt. “I hear you say it’s risky and me being a murderer…”
Loxland makes a dismissive gesture. “I don’t need a thank you. Just obedience.”
“Huh.” I shrug. Asshole. My thank you means nothing? I’m definitely fucking him over if I can.
I side-eye the phone, slide my butt so I can unobtrusively press the screen.
Is that a long enough recording? The longer I do this for, the more chance I’ll get seen. I press end. I’ve no pockets, nowhere to hide the phone and if the recording is left on the phone, it can be deleted.
It’s interesting, watching these two men interact. It almost makes me like them, or Tomás at least. Though he’s attractive, with his stripped-down, lanky physique, Loxland is too clinical. He treats me like an object he can manipulate and get orgasms from. Then I think back to his arms around me when I was on his lap. And a few hugs, I guess.
Tomás, I would never have considered the softer one. Meanness seemed engraved on his bones but his serious air melts at times. With his scars and that rough voice, he’s like a suave streetfighter who could menace a lion into submission yet I wonder what he’s like when his guard is down. I want to know his secrets.
I shake myself, figuratively. Don’t be stupid. I can’t stick around after I uncover the truth.
“I’ll get us on an earlier boat,” Loxland says, turning the laptop and bringing up a browser.
“I need to pee?” Hesitantly, I hold up my hand. “Please?”
“In there. The bathroom.” Distracted, he points to the door opposite to where we entered. “Don’t get ideas about wandering. Five minutes, tops.”
They barely notice me climb to my feet and exit. I keep the phone next to my thigh, hiding it with my body. I’ll send the audio to my bestie, Rebecca. No idea what text to attach to it but something like: do not listen to this unless something happens to me. Please don’t. You’ll know if you need to. I’ll be in the news.
After that, the gods had better be with me because I must get the phone back on the desk before he notices it is missing. If Rebecca listens to the audio anyway, am I fucked? She’s a paramedic, so if she thinks I’m doing something horribly daft, she might. I don’t know. I just don’t.