Page 40 of Lucian

Jordyn stood a little straighter at that comment. “Are you saying that was—”

“For me? Yes.”

“But you’re twenty-seven. You said it yourself, you’ve had plenty. That doesn’t even make sense. You can have sex with someone, but not kiss them?”

“Kissing is affectionate,” Lucian said quietly, his mouth drawing a thin line. “I didn’t have affection for the women I took to bed.”

“Sex is affectionate,” Jordyn challenged.

“Not always. Sex is a need, a desire. Something that doesn’t have to have feelings behind it to be acted out. Attraction is not the same thing as affection.”

“You just said you thought about me being your lover, but you kissed me. Is that not the same for you as being with someone else? Were they not lovers, too?”

“No,” Lucian said again. “I didn’t attempt to have relationships. I was honest from the beginning of what I expected once it was finished.”

“You make it sound like a business arrangement.”

Lucian shrugged. “If that’s how you want to see it, go ahead.”

“What’s a lover to you, then?” Jordyn asked, curious.

“Someone who is able to gain my desire and affection.”

And kiss, Jordyn thought wirily.

Sometimes Lucian’s vagueness wasn’t as foggy as he thought it was.

“Now, quit stalling. Tell me, did you love him?”

“Gabe was my best friend. He cared about me, watched out for me, and protected me. He gave me a lot of first experiences in a safe way with a familiar person I trusted. At the same time, he grew up with the expectations of being a man who could have whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted her while his girl at home just waited for him to come back when he was ready. I didn’t try to change that belief of his, but even being young like I was, it kept me from handing over everything to him.”

“Like your heart,” Lucian said.

“Exactly. So your answer, Lucian, is no. I didn’t love Gabe in a romantic way because he’d scattered pieces of himself with many girls, and I wanted to be the only girl.”

“Is that something you need?”

Jordyn smiled, thinking about his words to her when she’d woken up the first time after her attack. “Yeah, that’s something I need.”

Chapter Ten

Lucian circled behind Jordyn, catching her gaze in the mirror he’d caught her staring into when he first came in the bedroom. “What were you doing before I came in? I’m sorry for interrupting, but I was worried.”

“You’re not sorry,” Jordyn joked.

“Deflecting.”

Her pretty blue eyes rolled. “If I asked you to leave it alone and let me get dressed again, would you?”

Not now. “Tell me.”

“Taking inventory, I guess,” Jordyn answered.

Lucian’s brow furrowed. “Of what?”

She waved at the mirror. The only thing in it was her reflection, and now his behind her. Lucian was very aware of the lack of clothing she wore, never mind the sexy lace ensemble covering the parts he’d like to see the most. But, he took a special effort to keep his attentions on all of her, and not certain parts of her. Jordyn deserved more than a simple once-over, regardless of what his cock thought.

And that goddamn part of his body seemed to be thinking a lot lately. So much so he could barely sleep.