Page 115 of Worth of Waste

She had to say goodbye.

She deserved to say goodbye.

Karen had waffled on the idea of bringing Junior, too, if only because this funeral was for his father, and while he was too young to understand Dino was dead, he was not too young to understand that his daddy hadn’t been around for more than two weeks.

He asked for his father every day. He held up the last T-shirt Dino had given him, wanting a new one. He woke up every morning and searched for his father. He broke Karen’s heart with each crestfallen expression, when he realized Dino was still not there like he needed and wanted him to be.

Somehow, Karen had managed to talk herself out of bringing Junior to the funeral. It hadn’t been an easy choice, but she knew it was the smarter one, as far as that went. There would likely be pictures of Dino for the mourners to look over before they took their seats and the funeral began, as was customary for most ceremonies.

Karen thought if Junior saw a picture he recognized, he might have a fit, or even just point out to anyone who would listen that the man in the picture was his dad.

They weren’t a part of these people’s lives.

They weren’t a part of this at all.

That was what Dino had always told Karen. He’d kept them away and safe from it all.

She intended to do the same.

Karen took a back pew the very second she entered the church, sitting beside an older gentleman with a hat on the top of his head that made him look like he had come straight out of the dirty thirties. She found the people she believed to be Dino’s family—his siblings—in the very front row, accepting hugs, handshakes, and quiet apologies.

She recognized Theo, but not the blonde woman at his side.

Lily, maybe.

Dino’s sister.

The slight glimpse she got of the woman’s profile confirmed what she thought—those DeLuca genes were strong, and Lily shared both her brothers’ features, although a prettier, feminine version.

The young woman’s pain was as clear as day, and it only amplified the ache starting to grow in the middle of Karen’s chest.

She’d ignored it for so long.

She did what she needed to in order to keep moving for her son.

And yet here … now … she found herself leaning forward, her hand grasping the curved edge of the back of the pew in front of her, as a sob rose in her chest and caught painfully in her throat.

She couldn’t do this.

She shouldn’t be here.

That casket at the front—closed and gleaming—caught her eye.

What was left of her heart shattered, while the rest of her just felt so fucking numb.

“Are you okay, Miss?” the man with the hat asked Karen.

She didn’t answer, simply pushed out of the pew and made a beeline for the doors of the church. She needed to get the hell out of there as fast as she possibly could.

She had just made it to the front step, one that was now empty as the people had all gathered inside on the dreary day, when a voice from behind stopped her.

“Karen, wait.”

Theo.

Karen’s heart hurt a little more, but she didn’t stop moving forward. She kept walking, taking the church steps two at a time, ignoring the smack of shoes hitting the pavement behind her. She’d just grabbed the driver’s door of her car when Theo caught up to her.

“Karen!”