Page 23 of Worth of Waste

Six more months.

She thought, given their son and the way her heart hadn’t quite let go yet, she owed Dino a chance to fix everything.

Didn’t she?

Karen

“HE’S still got a bit of the sniffles,” Karen told the daycare worker as she handed eight-month-old Junior over to the woman’s waiting arms. “I’ve tried everything.”

“Still?”

“I know—the doctor wouldn’t prescribe him anything, though. He kept saying something about his immune system and needing to build immunity.”

Karen could tell just by the look on the woman’s face that she thought the doctor was crazy. She didn’t blame her because Karen also thought the doctor was a fool. Maybe it was time for a change in pediatricians for little J.

Ever since they had returned home from their trip to California, the baby boy had been plagued with one cold after another. Thankfully, he wasn’t getting fevers or vomiting from whatever it was that wouldn’t leave his little body, but it was getting tiring. Junior wasn’t sleeping well, and he loved to sleep. That meant Karen also wasn’t sleeping well.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” the daycare worker said, taking a tissue from Karen to wipe the baby’s nose. “And he doesn’t have much interest in the other kids, so it won’t be hard to keep him in his own space and entertained.”

Well, she supposed that was one good thing.

Karen didn’t think Junior was all that contagious, given she hadn’t gotten anything from him, but she understood the daycare’s policy on sick children. She was damn lucky they had agreed to take Junior at all while she worked in the daytime. It was only because his doctor had written a note that explained the boy was suffering from non-contagious seasonal colds that the daycare allowed him in, with provisions.

She was grateful.

She couldn’t afford time off from work.

“All right, say goodbye to your mom, J,” the woman said.

Instantly, little Junior’s eyes flew to Karen, knowing what those words meant. He sniffled a bit as Karen smoothed her hand over his head of soft hair and kissed his forehead.

“I love you, little man,” she told him.

Junior smiled, his two top and bottom front teeth gleaming. The cold did nothing for his moods most days. He was still her bright ray of sunshine.

“Bye, bye, bye,” he babbled, his chubby hand waving jerkily.

Karen smiled widely. “Bye, bye, bye, baby.”

Junior could only speak a few words—things like hi, bye, mom, and a multitude of squeals to get what he wanted when he couldn’t speak the words properly. Karen was quite proud of him, and given the way he toddled on his feet, attempting to stand against furniture already, she had no doubt her boy would be walking by the time his first birthday rolled around.

A pain stabbed in her heart at the thought.

Karen had all she could do to smile through it and wave to her son as she walked out of the daycare, ready to get on with her day so she could get it over with and get back to her son. But even as she tried to ignore that sudden swell of pain, it beat right through her focus, thrumming a little harder in her heart as she unlocked her car and sat behind the wheel.

Alone, it was easier to deal with.

Alone, she could let the tears fall if needed.

Karen took a deep breath, willing her emotions to calm. She’d been doing well lately, but the older Junior got, the closer to his first birthday he became, the more anxious Karen was becoming.

Dino would be released right around the baby’s first birthday.

But he’d already missed so much.

It was a hard pill to swallow.

Karen had done her best to document their son’s life, hoping that when she shared the memories with Dino, he wouldn’t feel so lost. She also shared the few pictures she had taken of Dino with little Junior, hoping that the pictures would give him some connection to a man he had yet to meet.