Page 140 of Inflict

None of that nonsense …

“Well, I would like to,” Evelyn said quietly.

Despite speaking softly, Connor heard the firmness and strength in Evelyn’s words all the same. He decided then and there to stop making such a big fuss over this whole thing that clearly meant something to her.

Once they had found a pew closer to the back, Connor slung his arm around Evelyn’s shoulders, and drew her into his side.

“It’s an every Sunday thing?” he asked.

“Every Sunday.”

“Why this—church?”

“God,” she corrected gently.

Connor made a noise under his breath. “I’m not sure I believe in that sort of thing.”

“Faith and belief are not always the same, Connor.”

“Fair enough.”

Evelyn sighed. “You’re still angry with me, aren’t you? For leaving, I mean.”

Yes.

And terrified she might do it again.

Disturbed that she had walked back into his life and went straight back to how things had used to be—or essentially the same, without all of the problems like his father, and her strange behaviors—before she left him without so much as an explanation.

“Connor?” Evelyn asked.

He squeezed her shoulder. “I’m worried that there’s going to come a morning when I wake up, and you’re not there. The problem with that is, I love you too much to let it make me frightened enough to send you on your way. So, instead, I live anxiously—constantly—waiting for that morning. I’m more sad than angry, Evelyn.”

Evelyn wiped under her eyes with her thumbs, then whispered, “I was always coming back.”

“It didn’t feel like that, love.”

“But I was.”

“That doesn’t make the anxiety or fear any less real now, either.”

Evelyn pursed her lips, her fingertips dancing along his that were resting on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

His fears—his problems—were not something he should put entirely on her. She had come back, after all, just as she promised. Her reason for going was a beautiful, important one, and he would never deny her something like her own flesh and blood child. And she had come back different, more than just the physical changes, but emotionally, she was more settled, had less childlike outbursts, and even seemed more at peace … with him.

It was not her.

It was him.

Connor was only now realizing that perhaps his biggest issue was his need to make sure she never left him again, though he was quite aware of how selfish that was. Even though she didn’t suggest she would leave, he was subconsciously keeping her stuck at his side, even if it was to his own emotional detriment.

Like not allowing her to learn to drive, so that she could take her damn self to church.

Simple, stupid things.

Connor pulled an envelope from his inner jacket pocket that he had been holding onto for quite a while. He had gotten it put together when Evelyn had left, though he’d had it in the works for longer than that. He should have given it to her the moment she was back in his sights, as it was hers, and it was everything she deserved, but he hadn’t.