Page 205 of Always: A Legacy Novel

It’s easier when you’re here.

Cross came to stand in front of her, and his fingers slid under the line of her jaw. Catherine tipped her head back to take his kiss. She sucked in one last, large gulp of air.

It was going to hurt to do that for the unforeseeable future.

It would hurt to even breathe.

“We’re good, right?” he asked.

I am broken.

I am wrong.

Don’t go.

“We’re perfect,” she said.

That was the truth.

It was her that was a lie.

She took one last kiss from him, and stayed on the bed as he gathered his duffle and headed out of the bedroom. She didn’t want to say goodbye at the door. She might not make it back to the bedroom where she wanted to stay until he got back.

Catherine heard the front door slam.

Her chest tightened painfully.

Alone.

Lost.

Too quiet.

Black mind.

Tired.

Restless.

Without.

Why did you go?

Don’t you see me?

Catherine needed to breathe; the anxiety in her heart and mind started to build like a fast rushing wave that she couldn’t escape. The panic spiked higher; her fear of being alone and broken and frightened by her own mind and a body that felt dirty when it wasn’t being held by someone who adored only her.

Before she knew it, she was in full meltdown mode on the edge of the bed, a fucking mess, hungover, sobbing, and unable to get enough air in to satisfy her need.

One breath … two.

Two breaths … three.

That had always helped her before. Always kept her steady.

It did nothing now.

Catherine stumbled her way to the kitchen, and pulled open the fridge. There, she found something that helped. At least, for a little while. She downed a bottle of white wine she needed for cooking.