Page 138 of Loyalty

“He’s not like that, though.”

“Not now,” his mother said sharply. “But I can see it—his father can see it. This is how it starts. Snappy conversations, and up and down moods. He seems productive. He bounces from one thing to another, and it looks like he’s getting so much done.

“He rarely sleeps, and he focuses on the strangest things. This is how it starts, Siena. And I don’t think you understand how it ends. It ends with the energetic him turning into a manic version of that—the snappiness and up and down changes into nastiness.”

“He’s not nasty—not to me,” Siena said.

“Yet. Not yet. His sisters? They grew up fearing John, and his mood swings. He destroyed their things, and he would call them names. Threaten them, or worse. Now, they barely speak to him despite the fact those episodes were years ago. They can’t let it go because it was awful for them. Apologies and ownership do not take away two decades worth of destruction that mania has caused in their lives.

“He becomes someone else,” Jordyn continued. “A nasty version of himself that lashes out because he wants to hurt someone else. It’s a dangerous game to play with him if you don’t know what to look for, and if you don’t understand what you’re doing. And this is how it starts. All the signs point to where it’s going, but you don’t know that because you haven’t lived an entire life with my son like we have.”

“He’s not like that right now,” Siena said, repeating her earlier sentiment.

“Now,” Jordyn echoed. “Are you helping him, or hurting him? Do you even understand the difference, Siena?”

“I—”

His mother didn’t even give Siena a chance to reply.

“That’s what I’m trying to explain to you. It’s hard to tell with John because one thing he does may look like this to you—it may seem okay—but to him, it’s something else entirely. It means something else entirely.”

Silence answered Jordyn’s statement.

John decided in that second that he had enough. This whole day had all been quite fucking enough for him.

He crossed the last few steps to the kitchen entryway, and instantly the two women inside noticed his presence. Siena looked as though she didn’t know what to say. His mother only dropped her arms to her sides, and let out a soft sigh.

“Is this why you asked me to bring her to church and dinner, Ma?” John asked. “So you could corner her like this, and tell her all the reasons why I’m such a fuckup to you, and the rest of this family?”

“John, no,” his mother said. “That’s not what I was doing at all.”

Her denials meant less than shit. He knew what he heard her saying to Siena, and he wasn’t fucking stupid.

He looked to Siena. “Are you ready to leave?”

She nodded once. “If you are, sure.”

“Let’s go.”

Siena darted for him, and discarded a dishcloth on the edge of the counter as she passed it by. “Sure, John.”

“John, wait,” his mother said.

John let Siena pass to exit out of the room before he turned and pointed at his mother. “Out of everyone, Ma, I trusted you the most. I didn’t think you would do something like this to me.”

“John, I was only trying to help.” Jordyn stepped forward, but he took one giant step back. Siena had already passed through the dining room, and was gone. “I don’t even think you realize it, but a lot of your behavior lately suggests you’re slipping into another manic phase. I only wanted to warn her, so that she would understand and know how to help.”

“You’ve got a strange fucking way of helping.”

“You’re not listening. That tells me I’m right, John. Listen to me.”

“I am fine!”

“Are you?”

“Go to hell, Ma.”

“John!”