Page 79 of Disgrace

“She comes from their side, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“How often do you see her? Or even, when was the last time?”

John cleared his throat, and just as quickly as his father had slipped into the room, Lucian left it the same way he had come in. When privacy mattered in John’s sessions, and his father was there, Lucian knew when it was time to step the hell away.

He appreciated it.

“The beginning of the month.”

“Almost two weeks, then,” Leonard supplied.

“Yeah.”

“I suppose you’re concerned about her.”

“It’s a lot more than just her, but yes, I focus on her a lot, too.”

Leonard turned to face John with a pensive expression. “You’re going too much, and not taking enough time for up here.”

The therapist tapped his temple.

John got what the man was saying.

“I don’t really have a choice at the moment, all things considered.”

“You’re going to put yourself back into a hypomanic phase, John.”

“I have it under control.”

Leonard stared hard at John.

It made him edgy.

“What?” John asked, irritated.

“Choose stability.”

“I am.”

“How structured have your days been since you left the facility, John?”

Well, that one, he had to stop and think about. It was not an easy answer because at the moment, his entire life just felt like one giant ball of chaos. One thing after another thing, after another thing. It never ended.

“I’m structured in the areas that need to be handled,” John chose to say.

“Your bipolar. Managing it, you mean.”

John nodded. “That’s what’s important, right?”

“Take that away, though, John. Remove your twice weekly appointments, your strict regimes for diet and exercise, and the other routines you have in place to manage your disorder. Is that the only thing keeping you on track right now?”

“Somedays, it’s the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, yeah.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game with that.”

“Not sure how to correct it right now, either.”