Page 162 of Duty

Home.

It might seem boring to someone else, but it was comforting to her. Like this, she knew that no matter what happened, she could still maintain the normalcy of what had once become her life before the hurricane that was Andino Marcello rushed into it without any kind of warning.

“Haven.”

She looked up from the white snow blanketing the ground to find Andino was only ten feet away. He didn’t move to sit beside her on the bench. There was no Snaps by his side with a stick in his mouth like usual. No latte in his hand for her. He didn’t even take his hands out of his pockets, or even really look at her. He was too busy staring down the trail as though he were waiting for someone to stroll down to their spot.

Oh, yeah.

She knew.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, never turning to look at her entirely. “Sorry that I did a lot of things wrong, and I’m sorry that there’s a lot of things I can’t do differently. I’m most sorry that I can’t be what and who you deserve.”

Haven blinked.

Was that what he thought?

She’d just wanted to be something.

Something more than nothing to him.

“I knew you were going to break my heart,” Haven said.

Andino looked at her then—all forest green eyes blazing, and his face passive. “Did you?”

“I just … felt it.”

And she didn’t want to sit around, and let him keep breaking it, either. If this was done, then she figured, they needed to let it be done. There was no reason to linger, and allow it to hurt them even more.

Or … her.

She didn’t want to hurt more.

Haven stood from the bench, and brushed the few snowflakes off her coat with shaking hands that she tried to hide by shoving in her pockets. Despite what she knew she should do—leave, and let it be done—her soul screamed for her to stay right there.

It was such a fucking contradiction.

She hated it.

“What changed?” she asked. “A couple of days ago, you told me you loved me. You didn’t even give me the chance to say it back, Andino.”

His gaze met hers again. “Would you—say it back, I mean?”

“Of course, I would. That’s why the first thing I did when I came back was to call you. I know we could have done things differently, or that things could be different on both our sides if we just figured it out. But it didn’t matter to me, either. I just wanted to feel like I was something important to you, and not an afterthought in your life. Not something you used, and discarded.”

Like he was doing right now.

That killed her.

Haven wasn’t even sure Andino knew that, and if he did, she wasn’t sure he cared. Andino’s stiff posture, and blank expression remained. It was like nothing she said made any impact, and Haven wasn’t sure what to do with that.

“We’re never going to be together,” he said, the words barely a murmur carrying through the wind. “Not now; not after everything. You’re not appropriate for my position in my family, and I can’t keep being selfish.”

Ouch.

A slap might have felt better.

Haven refused to let him take another shot at her, although really, she wondered if his words were simply meant to send her running. Not that he actually meant them. Either way, he achieved his goal.