Page 25 of Contempt

“Not even back then.”

It was almost sickening how Lucia didn’t want to verbalize the worst time in her life. She didn’t like to say Renzo’s name out loud. It felt like a fucking echo every time she dared to let it slip past her lips. One that continued to bounce around and come back to her time and time again like a slap she couldn’t dodge no matter how many times she tried. So, she just avoided it altogether. It was easier on her heart.

“You certainly said it enough times back then,” John muttered.

That was true.

“Because I didn’t know how to deal,” she said lamely.

Also, the truth.

John chose not to push, instead saying, “Well, what matters is while you’re here, that you let it go. Or try, Lucia. Be good for him—Dad, I mean. He could use that right now.”

Lucia knew that.

She didn’t need to be told.

“I know, John.”

That didn’t mean this felt good, or that she wasn’t wary about what might come out of this trip because she was. All of it. The unknown left Lucia feeling a little out of control, and she didn’t like that feeling at all.

It didn’t matter.

Her brother was right.

It wasn’t about her.

“Let’s get your bags,” John said.

Yes, and then what?

Lucia didn’t need to be told.

She knew.

Her dad.

• • •

“Aren’t you coming in?” Lucia asked.

John shook his head. “You’ll be fine … besides, they don’t like more than one support person in the room when he’s having his chemo.”

Lucia flinched.

Chemo.

Just the word made her stomach clench.

John didn’t say anything if he saw her reaction, though. Checking his watch, he added, “He should be finishing up, anyway. It’ll be good for him to see you. Maybe it’ll make him feel better—chemo isn’t easy, you know.”

Jesus.

Her brother was putting this on thick.

“Where are you going to be?” Lucia asked.

John waved the phone in his hand. “Siena and the kids; she had something today, so I need to check in.”