Page 160 of John + Siena: The Complete Duet

“John, listen—”

“I’m not taking those fucking pills!”

Lucian shot his wife a look from the side. Jordyn wrung her hands together from the kitchen’s entryway, however, she didn’t step in more than she already had. Her worry was as clear as day, but so was her fear.

Of what might come next.

Of what John might do next.

Of what her son might say next.

This was not the first time.

It would not be the last time.

It could never be the last time. John’s brain was wired this way. He was who he was, and eventually, he always came back to this manic stage.

It would break, sure.

He would have moments of peace, yes. A long spread of time when he was right and good again. He always came back to this, eventually. It was the one thing he could bank on in his life.

“Jordyn, go.”

Lucian’s order drifted over deaf ears. John’s mother didn’t move an inch. Unlike a lot of the women in his life, his mother was one who was unafraid of him in his mania a good portion of the time. She always faced it head-on, but with soothing words and a comforting touch.

He heard her. He felt her.

It just didn’t help.

“I want to go home,” John snarled at his father.

Lucian didn’t blink in the face of his son’s rage. “You can’t.”

“I’ve been here long enough!”

“You’ve been here a day.”

John felt like someone had punched him in the throat.

A day.

That was all.

A single day felt like weeks to John. Time was bleeding together, and he was missing it. Time was running out to fix the things he had somehow missed, and he was letting it.

“I’m not taking those pills,” he repeated.

Lucian frowned. “They could help stabilize you a little more until we get you in with someone else.”

No, they wouldn’t.

They would make his mania worse now.

Lithium had to be stopped when other antipsychotics were introduced. Otherwise, more meds needed to be added to the regime to balance out the counter effects of the mix. That only led John into the fog that had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

No, he wasn’t doing that again.

“If you won’t take meds, then I need you to stay,” his father said. “I can’t let you—”