Page 202 of John + Siena: The Complete Duet

FOUR

Leonard sat beside Johnathan on the bench just outside the entrance doors of Clearview Oaks. Up above, the sky was a pale blue, and cloudless.

Despite the beautiful day, the humid heat was enough to make John wish he was not wearing jeans at the moment. The thick material stuck to his skin, and made him hotter. He pulled out the collar of his T-shirt, and waved it a bit to create the illusion of cold air.

His attention to the weather did not escape his therapist’s notice.

“Quite hot out,” Leonard noted.

“It’s been like this for a while. Going through a spell, I think.”

“Better hot, than cold.”

John nodded. “Truth.”

Leonard passed a look at the brown paper bag resting beside John’s thigh. “It didn’t take you very long to pack up your things, did it?”

A smile passed between the two men. Even John couldn’t help but chuckle when Leonard shook his head.

“I didn’t come in with very much,” John admitted. “I had everything packed before breakfast this morning, actually.”

“And I suppose you didn’t ask for anyone to bring you very much while you were here, either,” Leonard said. “At least, you never asked me to make that request on your behalf to someone in your family.”

“No.”

“Shame.”

John cocked a brow. “What is?”

“Sometimes packing up your things and leaving a facility can be just as cathartic as anything you find comforting—or even, a great satisfaction. Something you completed. Or even, a goal you achieved. A challenge in your life that you bested, and your reward, so to speak, is packing up your things.”

“It still felt … rewarding.”

Maybe that wasn’t exactly the right word to use, but it was all John felt like offering at the moment. Packing up his few things to leave Clearview had felt a lot like when he left prison almost a year ago. Different circumstances, sure, but the emotions and how he felt them were still very much the same in a lot of ways.

Relief as he pulled the few photographs off the wall, and anxiety as he exited out of the bars that had kept him locked up for years. Anticipation, too, at the idea of freedom, but knowing he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

This time had been months.

It also wasn’t prison.

Yet, those same emotions plagued him. Those same worries about the outside, life, and even his family were forefront in his mind. Like little needles sticking in his brain, and staying like that for far longer than he wanted them to.

No matter what he did, he could not remove that strange sensation. At the same time, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to, either. Although uncomfortable, it was still comforting in its familiarity.

No, Clearview hadn’t been a prison. Leaving the place was still very much a variable unknown to John.

Funny how it still felt the same.

Leonard pulled out a form from the inside pocket of his white lab coat, and waved it in the air to catch John’s attention. “Your probation is all set again. Of course, we had to pull some strings when you were first admitted as to not break your probation.”

“Yeah, thanks again for that.”

“No thanks needed.”

Leonard handed over the form, and John opened it up. Looking the document over, it seemed that Leonard had finally been listed as John’s official registered therapist for the unforeseeable future. Well, for after his release from Clearview.

The form listed approximate appointment dates, and Leonard’s signature was heavy and bold on the bottom of the paper. A sign of the doctor’s agreement to follow the letter of the law where John’s probation was concerned, and report him to the probation office should he stop attending his appointments.