Page 76 of Essence of Fear

And him, too. Although he chose not to say that out loud, but it didn’t make it any less true. If these horrible things never happened, he honestly believed that he would still be exactly where he had been not too long ago. Stuck in the deepest pits of hell, with cement walls and dying men to keep him company. He would never have known her, and wouldn’t that just be a shame?

Pav couldn’t imagine being without her.

How did he tell her that?

He didn’t know where to start.

This was new.

Too new.

“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” Viktoria mumbled. “Love, I mean.”

“Why’s that?”

“I never had the chance to love something that strongly. I’ve only ever known how to hate something like my life depended on it because … I think it did for a while.”

“Taking control of fear is the same as learning to love it. When someone cannot use it against you anymore, then it’s yours to do with as you want, if you understand.”

“I do. I’m trying.”

“That’s all that matters.”

Viktoria glanced up at him then, and when her sky-blue eyes met his, he swore the rest of the world drifted away again. All the noise of the airport stopped. The polluted air cleared. His world shifted back on a proper axis.

All because she looked at me.

When had this happened?

“Pav?”

“Da?”

“I don’t know what I feel about you, either,” she whispered.

“No?”

He didn’t even think about it. He just leaned down and caught her soft lips with his own. There was something honest in her kiss. He could always feel that trepidation racing through her body when he kissed her, or the excitement. She never shied away from his kiss now, and if anything, she was the first to demand more. A hot strike of her tongue against the seam of his mouth or her fingers digging into his chest.

Her lips worked against his and every kiss took him higher. That taste of her wasn’t nearly enough, but he wasn’t going to complain about it, either. She was becoming a drug to him. A shot of heroin into his heart, making it blacken and beat for only her. She didn’t know it, though. That was okay, too.

Now wasn’t the right time to explain it.

She wouldn’t mind waiting.

All too soon, she pulled away, but he let her. He could have pulled her in for another kiss, but there were too many people watching, and he never liked being the center of attention. Neither did she, really.

Viktoria swallowed hard. “There’s a part of me that wants to keep you.”

“I like that part.”

Her laughter was sweet.

Her smile, beautiful.

She winked. “Yeah, me too.”

13.