Page 13 of One Breath After Another

“Penny,” Roz said quietly beside her. “It’s okay ... try to say what you’re feeling, and not just try to hurt someone else because we’re hurting, right?”

God.

Why did Roz have to be like ... that?

All the time, too.

“I think,” came the dark voice of Naz behind Penny where he leaned against the wall of the kitchen in their new—because a baby needed lots of space, apparently—home, “what Penny is not quite saying but wants to, is that it’s just the child porn charges, correct?”

“Yes, those are charges that will be impossible for them to win against.”

“And nothing for her.”

The man across the table stiffened. “Well—”

Naz didn’t allow the man to continue on with whatever in the fuck he planned to say before he added, “So, perhaps you could forgive Penny that you made a deal with the man who raped her, and sold her body for years, wherein he will plead guilty to everything but what he did to her. Because you see, the only reason why you were able to get the child porn and charge him for that was because she came forward ... she talked, again and again and again. You put her on tape, you made her relive trauma to stranger after stranger. You put her in front of therapist after therapist to see if she was lying. You promised justice would be served for her.”

“Sir—”

“And in fact,” Naz continued, “what you did was use her to get what you could from him, and instead of getting her abuser on the stand to admit to what he did to her, she instead gets to feel like everything she did was not actually for her own benefit. So yeah, I think you could empathize with why she needs you to explain again the choice you made. And without the attitude the second time around—go ahead, try it, Mr. Mahoney.”

The DA swallowed hard and stared at the wood grain on the dining room table they currently sat at. Roz squeezed Penny’s hand again, and she was eternally grateful for the support that she found in this house. It was strange to her in the way that those weren’t at all the things she had been expecting when she came to live here with Naz and Roz.

Penny had become so used to being alone—to feeling numb to all and anything in her life—that now, it felt like she experienced too much when it came to her emotions, and she didn’t know the first damn thing to do with them.

She was getting better, though.

One step at a time.

It was terrifying.

“Trial would be long,” the DA murmured, “and drawn out. Media would be all over it—constantly. Penny would likely have to testify. No doubt in front of a packed courtroom, we’d be lucky if we were able to get a media ban approved by the judge, and certainly in full view of her father where he could stare at her while she retold detail after detail of his abuse. Which, again no doubt, would be for his pleasure, and certainly not for hers. So yes, I understand that on the surface, this deal doesn’t exactly seem like it is to Penny’s benefit—”

“Not one bit,” Penny replied sharply.

“But your other options will be far more traumatic. He will die in prison, and it might not be because he admitted to the things he did to you, but it will be because of the strength and courage you have shown time and time again to make sure he couldn’t do this to someone else.”

Penny let out a shaky breath.

Why didn’t that help?

Wordlessly, Penny stood from the table. Roz looked her way, a silent request for her to stay and finish the conversation. It reflected in the woman’s eyes, but Penny couldn’t do what she wanted. Right now, she just needed to be alone ... or something.

Anything but this.

Roz always told her that was okay, too.

To be alone.

To need time.

It was okay, and she could take it.

As she headed out of the kitchen without as much as a look over her shoulder, Penny heard the DA say, “We don’t need her agreement on the deal for it to go through, but I did want to let her know personally.”

“Right,” Naz snapped back, “because it is never about the victim, only the victory.”

“Or do you just have a personal problem with law enforcement, Nazio Donati, because of your own circumstances?”