Page 25 of One Breath After Another

Didn’t want them.

No one here would ever understand Penny, or her life. She was the weird one—the freak. In gym, they noticed she only wore long sleeve shirts, and black leggings. And so, the rumors about what she was hiding under her clothes started. Not that they were wrong, she just didn’t care to indulge them. The group of High Bitches in Charge and their Merry Band of Fucktoys for boys made it their mission to piss Penny off at least once a day, and that was a feat.

You know, considering Penny felt nothing.

Most of the time.

She didn’t go to the counselor. Instead, she headed outside through an exit door, and pulled a small metal case from her bag. Flipping it open, she found a handful of cigarettes, and two joints. She’d save the weed for later ... maybe.

Roz didn’t like it.

Naz didn’t have an opinion.

It soothed her mind.

It was the only time she didn’t have to think.

Lighting up a cigarette, Penny let the smoke soak into her lungs as she stared out over the west side of the parking lot. No doubt, the school already had her on camera coming out to smoke, and someone was on their way to drag her back inside. Security, likely.

She didn’t want to go back in there.

She didn’t want to be here at all.

And not just here ... but here.

Alive.

Breathing.

On earth.

That was when Penny realized her depression was back, and better than ever. It wasn’t like it had gone away, really, but it became far more manageable over the last year. She didn’t know what it was like to live without depression. At three years old, she had her first moment of suicidal ideation. Here she was at seventeen, and she was still looking out at the road thinking ... how easy would it be to just run out in front of traffic?

Fucking bitch.

Yeah, that’s exactly what depression was.

A goddamn bitch.

“Penny Dunsworth, get back inside the school right now!”

Penny sighed.

Figures.

She didn’t do as the security guard told her. Instead, she stood, slinging her messenger bag and purse over her shoulder before she darted into the parking lot without a look over her shoulder. She didn’t have a car here—still didn’t know how to drive.

Not that it mattered.

She didn’t mind a walk.

Penny just didn’t know what she was walking toward anymore.

• • •

“DO YOU EVER WORK?”

Naz didn’t look the least bit surprised to see Penny standing in the doorway of their living room. “Do you ever stay at school like you’re supposed to?”