Page 62 of One Breath After Another

Penny knew it was for show. Especially when the woman started listing things without even looking down at the papers inside the folder.

“Lack of willingness to participate in school, or therapy, even if she does regularly attend both. Fights at school. Issues with teachers, students, and anyone within breathing distance. Now, a suspension can be added to the list of issues that have cropped up since Penny moved into your home as well, Mr. Donati and Miss Puzza. Also.” The caseworker glanced Roz’s way specifically, her gaze narrowing when she said, “I see the two of you still aren’t married. I thought that was happening sooner rather than lat—”

“We’re not here to discuss our marriage plans,” Naz spoke up. “But by all means, continue with the other bullshit. We will listen to that at least.”

“Excuse me?”

Roz sighed, looking like she was over the entire day. Being heavily pregnant, anybody could understand why. “Penny has also managed to maintain a decent grade average despite the trouble she’s found at school—and not all of that trouble was her own fault, either. She does attend therapy, and even her therapist says she’s made progress during sessions as far as opening up is concerned. We’ve not had a single incident at our home that needed attention. No violence, no self-harm ... nothing. She even plays the piano again, of course, when she wants to. But I think it’s important to note that Penny hadn’t even touched piano keys for almost two years before she came into our care. Not without being forced to, anyway.”

“And what does any of that have to do with this?” the caseworker asked, tipping the file in their direction like the lists she had inside of there should mean shit.

“Well,” Roz replied, “I think it’s only fair that if you’re going to name every bad thing that’s happened, it’s equally important for you to list the positive, too. Weigh the good against the bad, so to speak. Because really, the only issue that’s caused us real problems with Penny since she’s come into our care is you.”

“What—”

“You,” Naz repeated for Roz, although stronger that time. “Penny has no issue with causing a scene when she’s unhappy in a situation. As your file probably shows. And the only thing that’s truly upset her progress with us in these past couple of months is your incessant need to step in and suggest we weren’t capable of taking care of her. That upset her, in turn, causing us problems that we had to fix.”

“You have to understand,” the caseworker tried to say, “that I only see what is shown to me. I’m also looking out for the best interests of the two of you as well. You’re both young, you have a baby on the way, and Penny is ...”

The woman glanced her way. She did smile, but it didn’t feel entirely true. Like most people, this woman looked at her and saw a mountain of problems that she didn’t know how to begin fixing let alone help. Naz and Roz weren’t the same. They didn’t try to fix shit for Penny. They let her do it on her own and when she needed them, they were there.

That’s why she wanted them.

And to stay with them.

“Is she appropriate for your current circumstances—that’s all I want you two to consider at this time,” Amanda said, closing the folder.

“Do we ignore that literally everyone except you has said she’s better with us than without?” Naz asked. “Her therapist. The school. Even her physician that has only seen her three times, and one of those were for a check-up. We just, what, pretend like their recommendations don’t exist?”

The caseworker exhaled heavily. “Yes, everything seems to fall right into place for any Donati in this city, doesn’t it?”

For the first time during the entire meeting—because Penny promised Naz and Roz she would stay quiet and let them handle this entire thing—she spoke out of turn, but only to tell the caseworker, “I want to stay where I am. I want to stay with Naz and Roz.”

“Considering the circumstances, I don’t think they’re the right place for you to be, Penny.”

And?

“Well, I do,” Penny replied sharper than she intended.

“I believe you would be better placed where you could receive more specialized care,” Amanda said, shrugging like she didn’t care to hear a thing Penny had to say about it. “And that’s really what it boils down to.”

Oh, really?

Penny had tried hard since coming to live with Naz and Roz to keep her more spiteful and cruel tendencies under control. But before them, her mean streak had been infamous with anyone who knew her well enough to stay far the fuck away. Did she get stuck with a roommate she didn’t want at one of her private schools? Fine—she made it impossible for the girl to even breathe the same air. A boy spreading rumors or making jokes with his dumbass friends? All right—let the games begin.

She could ruin a life.

She had.

Penny was also just mean when she wanted to be—for no other reason than she could be. People made it too easy and when she didn’t like them to begin with, she felt little to no guilt about doing what she had to do.

Except she tried with Naz and Roz. Hard. After all, they only wanted to help her and so, she really couldn’t justify being more trouble in their life than she already was. Yet, for the first time in more months than she cared to count, Penny felt that all too familiar pull of her vindictive side coming out to play as she stood from the chair. Every gaze in the room turned on her, including her guardians, but she only stared at the caseworker standing in front of the principal’s desk.

“Do you know what used to happen when someone tried to put me in places with more specialized care?” Penny asked, twisting the words with enough venom that she hoped the woman knew she wasn’t fucking around. “First it was my parents—they tossed me into whatever private school they could just to hide me away. But no worries, I always made my way back one way or another. One problem at a time. But then it was the schools ... I needed more structure, they said. I needed a stricter environment. Whatever. I started cutting deeper until I was doing real damage, and they didn’t have a choice but to move me again.”

Penny laughed, the sound tired to even her own ears. “See, then they all just gave up. Institutions and mental health wards were the only things left, and even that shit didn’t take. So, let’s make sure we all understand where each of us stands here, Miss Carine—or do you want me to call you Amanda? Never mind, don’t answer. I honestly don’t give a fuck. I like where I am. I don’t cut, I’m finally safe, and for once, I’m happy. As long as you understand that if you remove me from Naz and Roz’s home things are going to get a lot harder for you where I’m concerned, that’s all that really matters.”

The caseworker’s jaw dropped.