Page 73 of One Breath After Another

Maybe a part of her knew Roz would appreciate the simple bear with his beautiful song—a lullaby Penny composed for the baby. She’d stressed so much leading up to actually figuring out what she wanted to get Roz for her shower that when she did sit down and record the song, it came painfully easy. She just ... thought about how scary everything was for her sometimes. It couldn’t be that much different to a new baby meeting the world for the first time.

So, the song needed to be soothing. Soft notes that carried from one verse to the next. A tune that could be listened to without it becoming overwhelming. Something that would lull a baby into ... comfort.

She wanted to comfort little Cross when he was new and scared. The notes came easier when she thought of it that way. Hopefully, because she really wanted to, she would be able to play it for the baby herself while she held him.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Told you,” Luca said.

He didn’t even sound smug about it.

At least, there was that.

“A lot has changed,” Penny said.

“Hmm—like what?”

“Me.”

That quieted Luca.

Penny didn’t mind.

Even when she took the time to think about everything that was different in her life now—since moving in with Naz and Roz—it was enough to draw her into silence. The heavy kind that sometimes came with dull aches deep in her heart and things she wasn’t always willing to face. She still did, though.

Didn’t that count for something?

God.

She hoped so.

Penny was still trying.

It’s all they asked.

“Have you changed, or your circumstances?” Luca asked.

Well ...

“Both,” she replied.

Months ago, she never would have cared that her graduation was just weeks away. Baby Cross would still be brand new when she walked across the stage. Back then, she wasn’t counting down the days until she turned eighteen—a few more months.

She had new musical pursuits on the table if she wanted to make the attempt. She was going to be a godmother.

Lately, she didn’t focus on the things that had happened leading up to all of this ... change. She found it was easier to leave the memories of her father and mother behind. Or as much as she could, anyway.

It wasn’t perfect.

Life was certainly different.

“But I like it,” she told Luca.

Like the dress.

Her changes.

Everything.