Page 76 of One Breath After Another

Blood meant nothing.

She understood that now.

There was also something else that kept prickling at the back of Penny’s mind every time she held the baby. This would never be her—a woman holding her own child; one she birthed. She was too young for kids, anyway, but it wouldn’t happen for her in the future, either.

Not that she had dared to tell anyone else because the heavy sadness wasn’t really something she could explain without also needing to say why. She didn’t want to get into all that.

“Roz said you were up here. How’s he doing?”

Penny’s head snapped up, and her gaze found Luca leaning in the doorway. “I didn’t know you were—”

“Came with Ma and Dad.”

Oh.

Penny smiled down at the baby. “He’s great.”

“I bet. You look happy.”

Did she?

Penny nodded. “I am. But also a little sad.”

Of course, Luca would ask, “Why?”

He always asked questions. Even when she didn’t want to answer.

“It doesn’t matter,” Penny said.

She hoped he leave it alone.

He didn’t.

Surprise.

Luca’s footsteps approached until he was standing beside the rocking chair and looking down on the two. Reaching over, he pulled back the blanket a little more from baby Cross’s cheek to expose the hand he was sucking on.

“I think everything matters,” Luca replied quietly. “But especially the things you think don’t.”

Well ...

What would it hurt to tell one person? Another secret clawed at Penny.

It wanted out.

“Friends keep secrets, right?” she asked.

Luca chuckled under his breath. “They do.”

“I can’t have my own kids. I never really thought that I wanted them anyway, but I guess when you hold a baby ... you think about it more. What it might be like, you know?”

“What?”

Penny refused to look up at Luca, instead keeping her attention focused on the bundle in her arms. “It’s not a big deal—”

“It’s a huge deal.”

Maybe to him.