Page 63 of The Agreement

She couldn’t hide those.

Masha searched for the pillbox she always kept within arm’s reach, quickly pulling it from its hiding spot before popping it open, and offering one to Karine without even showing which pill she chose. “Here, have this. Take one and you’ll feel better before you know it.”

Karine grappled for the pill, and popped it back. Down her throat it went, and she closed her eyes tight, waiting a few moments for it to take effect. It wasn’t that she would magically start seeing rainbows and unicorns everywhere—the edges simply became a little less sharp to her senses. Easier to deal with, maybe. If only she could forget the significance of what was going to happen tonight, then perhaps she might also stop panicking about the future.

Right—lying to yourself again, Karine.

What else could she do?

This was all she knew.

“You just have to get through the next few hours, and then it will all be over,” Masha said, her whispery assurance adding to the way she stroked Karine’s hair as she bent over. “Come on, now, isn’t that enough of that?”

Not even close.

Vomit threatened to spill from her stomach before she could stop it. Karine was sure she was going to be sick, but nothing happened. That warm glow started to spread all over, traveling thick in her veins, promising the pill was taking effect. It wouldn’t be long before she was going to be able to forget everything and go through the motions of the night’s event.

When Karine finally opened her eyes and looked at herself again, she couldn’t hide the way her hands trembled. Her hand was bare for the moment, but very soon, a big diamond ring would rest on one of those long, pale fingers.

A ring that would mark the beginning of her end, she knew.

“You look beautiful, Karine,” Masha told her, soft hands flitting over Karine’s face to brush away any stray tears or whatever else she might find that made her less than perfect. “So grown up, hmm? You’ll be the most beautiful women at the party.”

Masha’s pride turned on her, making Karine suck in a stuttering breath. She would have loved for her father to look at her the same way and say those things.

The truth was cold, though.

And hard to accept.

No matter how strikingly perfect her dress was, or how gorgeous Masha made her look—to her father, she would always just be currency. Something to barter. A commodity to use for his benefit.

She wasn’t meaningful. Karine meant nothing.

Not to him.

• • •

Masha gave Karine another pill on the way to the restaurant. Even though there weren’t that many lights inside the place, Karine still squinted at the seemingly bright space, barely keeping her eyes open when they stepped inside. Not that it stopped her from seeing the scene that waited.

So many people.

The whole restaurant had been booked out for tonight at her father’s request. Everyone was there who had been given an invitation—no one would turn it down when that would be disrespectful to the man who offered it in the first place.

Karine tried not to be unsettled by the number of guests she passed through to make her way to the table designated for her. One already filled with faces she didn’t want to join. Dima. Her father. Others who were important enough to sit with the boss and his future son-in-law.

They all sat on one side of the table where she was made to sit between them. Masha disappeared somewhere in the shadows where she would remain unless called for by one of the men sitting with her at the table. The true extent of her role in Karine’s life always made an appearance on nights like these.

She was there.

But she wasn’t.

Seen, but not heard.

Known, but not acknowledged.

Before she had stepped away, though, Masha was quick to slip another pill into Karine’s hand with a knowing glance—this will help things go faster. The pills usually did, so she was happy to take it.

Karine felt limbless without Masha there. Even if she did keep clutching at the small pill, shaped like a bar inside her palm, like it was a lifeline that might save her. What if she needed more? What if she started having those bad thoughts, or couldn’t stop the trembling in her hands?