Settling on a long walk in the woods, and her morning meditations somewhere new, Karine figured she just needed a second alone. Those were the only things that helped calm her lately, but she still didn’t want to leave Roman’s side. Not knowing when their time together would end again only made it worse.
Every step she took away from the bed was harder, but she kept going. It was something else that she had to keep reminding herself—she trusted him. She did. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.
She believed those things to be true.
Absolutely.
But how long was she supposed to trust him blindly?
All their lives?
Just because he told her he loved her, didn’t mean they were bound to each other forever. Certainly not the way Dima had bound himself to her the first opportunity he got. Karine shuddered as she slipped out of the bed.
She needed some air.
• • •
Roman was already up and out of bed when Karine returned to his bedroom. She’d truly lost track of time, and wasn’t sure how long she’d been out walking in the woods. One of the bulls had, of course, jumped to follow her at a distance that didn’t feel like an invasion of her personal space.
She was never truly alone, and that was for the best. Even she wouldn’t trust herself if she was actually alone. Not when Katina’s voice had started to become a bit vindictive whenever she made herself known to Karine. Even the smallest things—like Karine being hesitant to take a new trail in the woods—would have her alter hissing taunts and threats of doing it myself.
Karine never thought she would admit it, but she did feel safer to know someone was nearby. Even if it was just a bull.
The bed was empty when she walked through the door. The sound of the running shower echoed from the bathroom.
By the looks of the bag by the door, which was left exactly where Roman dropped it yesterday—only now, it was left open with dirty clothes haphazardly tossed inside—she got the feeling it was time. Their little tryst was coming to an end. Even though she trusted it was only temporary, it still stirred all those feelings of unease in her again. The loud ring of abandonment clanged inside her heart with every beat.
Nearly impossible to ignore ...
Karine tried.
She sat on the bed, at the very edge, waiting for him to emerge from his shower. Roman eventually stepped out of the bathroom with damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. His perfectly chiseled body, streaked with the remaining drops of water that had fallen from his hair, at least gave her something to admire.
Karine would have given anything to pull him back into bed—to be underneath him while she felt the heavy pressure of him above her. Surrounding her. Keeping her warm and safe. Alive.
She didn’t say anything. Not about those pesky worries and questions, or the fact that his open bag at the door said he was leaving. He was going to go, that was that, and she wouldn’t beg him to stay.
That would hurt him, too.
She didn’t think he wanted to say no.
He still would.
A sexy smirk lingered on his handsome face when he found her there. Silently, he picked up the fresh clothes where he’d left them on a dresser, and started pulling the items on.
“I heard you went for a walk,” he finally said.
“You hear everything.”
“I make it one of my priorities to know you’re safe, that’s all.”
Karine played with the edges of the sheets absentmindedly, keeping her gaze downturned because she didn’t want him to see the sadness staring back.
It was happening again.
That bleakness she’d been trying so hard to fight all morning came back with a vengeance, and right after they had such a good night together, too. What was wrong with her—what more could she want?
“Karine.”