Page 182 of Made in Love and Blood

She couldn’t follow along that time.

“Sorry,” he muttered, “ADHD.”

“Oh-kay,” she drawled out when he offered nothing else in explanation.

“That’s why I’m not sleeping, too. Partly.”

She’d just picked up his jacket, but waited before tossing it to his outstretched hand to ask, “ADHD affects your sleeping habits?”

“It can for some people.”

“And for you?”

He shook his head. “No, but also yes. Can I have that, please?”

She tossed him the jacket. Nico dug in a pocket until something rattled. Something like pills.

Frankie tried not to be pissed. “What the hell was that?”

Nico arched an eyebrow her way as he pulled a yellow prescription bottle from the right pocket of the jacket. Without a word, he popped the top off and tipped the bottle up to his mouth. Lowering his hand, he opened his mouth so she could see, through fury, the one pill on his tongue that he promptly swallowed right back.

“Adderall,” he informed, then, before putting the pills back and tossing the jacket aside. “For the obvious.”

Frankie’s eyes narrowed. “What? Didn’t we fucking talk about pills and drugs because of Chicago?”

“Relax. I don’t say things I don’t mean and make promises I don’t intend to keep. I told you that wouldn’t ever happen again, and I wouldn’t do it again. My word means something.”

“Are you saying I didn’t just watch you swallow a fucking Adderall? I watched girls snort that shit in the locker room all the time, Nico. I know what that can do to somebody.”

“Yeah, someone who’s already level and even keeled. Who doesn’t have ADHD. I took Adderall at a party when I was like thirteen. I didn’t know why everybody else seemed to be having the greatest night of their lives. It did nothing but make me want to go home and take apart my computer to rebuild it for the third time.”

Then, he laughed.

“Which I did,” he added. “Best rebuild ever, by the way. Fuck, that played so smooth when I was done.”

She blinked. “Uh...”

“It’s a stimulant. And I need it to get my body and brain on the same wavelength so I can focus on shit sometimes.”

“Have you always been taking that? You just didn’t tell me, or what?”

“No, I started it two weeks ago. When I need it, if I need it, I contact my doctor, and he calls the script in. I haven’t taken Adderall since I first went to Miami and that was just new places and things. It was too much, and I couldn’t keep up with everything at first.”

“And you stopped taking it?”

“Yeah, when I leveled out and got back to managing myself.”

“So, why are you taking it again?”

“I stopped smoking. I had to go to Chicago for a whole month and be in places that bring back a lot of shit for me. Nicotine is a stimulant, too, Frankie. Usually, I’d smoke two or three, and that would help level me out for a bit. Enough that I had shit under control and didn’t get overwhelmed by everything that I started losing focus. I have to be able to focus. I can’t afford not to, especially now.”

“You’re not telling me this to ask if you can start smoking again, are you?”

Nico snorted. “Get real, babe. First person to smoke around the baby is getting a smack upside the fucking head. No, I’m telling you because we made a deal. No lying, no hiding. I wasn’t hiding it, but I didn’t want you to feel like I was, either. Eventually, you’d see the meds, and maybe assume...”

“You don’t know that.”

He gave her a look. Frankie just stared somewhere else.