Page 6 of Highland Heart

He bent his head so that his breath stirred the hair coiled at her neck. He thought she shivered. “It is a fair enough question,” he said, “and I would answer it if I knew the answer. For now I will stay here, with Ewen, and be of help to him.”

“And then?”

He ghosted his lips against her skin and this time she did shiver. “Would it matter to you if I left again? Last time—”

“You said you wanted to know your daughter. I am merely trying to discover if you were telling me the truth or just making conversation.”

“I am telling you the truth.”

She faced him, eyes searching his, and suddenly he was tired of this distance between them. Why could they not talk like ordinary people? Yes, there were unpleasant memories, and he still felt some of that bitter pain, but it was a long time ago and they were mature enough to be able to have a simple conversation. Dugald had dealt with foreign diplomats and prickly nobles in the duke’s court, and none of them had been as frustrating as Rosina.

“I want to look after your welfare; yours and my daughter’s. I want to see you safe. Is that so terrible? I am no longer a penniless nobody. I am a man with means and I want to use them for your benefit.”

“Why?”

“Because that is my wish.”

She shot him a sceptical look. “Very well, Dugald. We accept your kindness ... for now.”

Dugald followed her back to the castle, his arms full, and wondered why he did not feel as if he had won their argument.

Chapter four

ROSINA

She knew she shouldn’t be angry with him. She shouldn’t despise him as her mother had told her to. Yes, he had made her love him and then left her with his child in her belly, and that was the last time she had seen him until now.

But was that his fault? She had said the things that drove him away, although she had hoped he would see through her. If he had sought her out before he left, if they had had some time alone without her mother’s ears and eyes, she could have told him then why she had behaved as she had. She could have made him understand ... But he hadn’t come. It only made her more convinced that he had been too immature for her. Their union had been a game to him and he had quickly moved on to a new life and no doubt a new woman. He’d probably been relieved to do so.

When Ewen had climbed the tower wall to Elspit’s room, Rosina had been there, and she had heard from his own lips that he had lain with no woman since he’d left ten years ago. He had kept himself for Elspit. Dugald had not done the same, but then she hadn’t expected him to. She had rejected him in the cruellest of ways, and he had left her. Being upset with his lack of fidelity was ridiculous of her, and unfair to Dugald.

Sometimes it felt as if her life was being lived under a cloud and she wanted so much to be free of it. She wanted to laugh like Elspit, and love too. She wanted to be the girl she was once long ago. She wanted to be the girl she had been for Dugald because when he was with her the world had felt like a sunnier place.

“Mother, he is looking at you.”

Mary was seated beside her at one of the long tables in the great hall. The main meal was always taken there, and there had been times of poverty in the past when, if they did not eat with everyone else, they had not eaten at all.

Rosina looked up.

Dugald was watching her from across the room. He was with his two brothers, Finlay and Callum. Their father Hamish and Ewen sat at the table on the dais, but it seemed the three other Campbells had decided to share bread with their men. It shouldn’t have surprised her. The Campbells had known what it was to be poor and badly treated.

“Mother,” Mary tugged at her sleeve. Rosina forced her eyes away from the man she had once loved so much that now she wondered if she had a heart left.

“What is it?”

“There are people saying ...” she bit her lip. “That that man is my father.”

Rosina went still. She had never spoken to Mary of the identity of her father except in the vaguest of terms, and whenever the subject came up she had simply said he had left, long ago. Dugald returning had changed that. She should have been prepared but what with the overthrow of Tighe and then Ewen and Elspit’s wedding, she hadn’t thought. Now she told herself that soon enough he would be gone again, and she would not need to worry that her daughter might grow fond of him.

“I ...” She shook her head. “We will speak of it later, Mary. Eat your food.”

The girl looked as if she might argue, but with a sigh picked up a piece of the coarse bread to scoop up the stew.

Rosina glanced up again and found Dugald still watching her. She would have to talk to him and sooner rather than later. Her heart fluttered and she refused to believe it was anticipation, or excitement. Nothing like that. She could not afford to feel like that about him—there was too much at stake.

After the meal, when Mary had gone with Jeanette to their room, Rosina lingered, making some excuse about needing to speak to Elspit and the other ladies. It was a lie and she felt guilty, but not guilty enough to respond to her mother’s suspicious gaze. She had given up a great deal for Jeanette Gordon, and for many years she had burned with wrath and resentment, but she knew her mother had done what she thought best for her daughter and only child. Being a mother herself, Rosina understood.

As the great hall emptied out, she saw that Dugald was standing by the fireplace, leaning against the mantel, the ashes from last night’s fire still mounded in the hearth. The night was warm enough and they had not needed to light it. Deliberately Rosina walked past him, catching his eye and nodding toward the curtain that led into a small ante room that was used for private meetings, or when they had an overflow of guests needing somewhere to sleep.