Page 53 of Flashback for the Forward

The girl was off to the races, her artificial leg not slowing her down one bit.

“You cut hair?” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice.

Arizona’s lips folded inward as she nodded. “Money was tight before all of this.” She waved a hand to indicate the luxuriousness of her home. “I used to cut Austin’s hair and trim my own to save a few bucks.”

I twisted the heavy length of my hair before letting it fall down my back. “I was hoping for more than a trim.”

She tossed me a wink. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered, girlfriend.”

Guess there was only one way to find out if she could put her money where her mouth was when it came to her hairdressing skills.

The kids abandoned us after dinner, and as soon as the dishes were cleared, I found myself seated in a chair with a towel draped over my shoulders as Arizona washed my hair at the kitchen sink.

Her fingers were magic; the pressure of her kneading over my scalp felt so good that a moan slipped past my lips.

“Damn,” she teased. “Levi’s gonna be jealous if he finds out I’m making someone other than him orgasm.”

We both burst into a fit of giggles, which helped loosen some of the tension threaded throughout my muscles for the past week.

“God.” I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. “You have no idea how much I needed that.”

Using the handheld sink sprayer, Arizona rinsed away the suds clinging to my hair before working conditioner through the strands. “Actually, I kinda do.”

My brows drew down as I stared up at her. “What do you mean?”

She kept her eyes focused on her task. “Our situations were slightly different, but like you, I was forced to live in captivity.”

I blinked at her. “Seriously?”

Her lips pressed into a thin line. “Mmm. It was a long time ago, but those early days after escaping are burned into my brain, so I understand some of what you’re feeling right now.”

“Wh-what do you think I’m feeling?”

Sympathy shone in her bright blue eyes when they shifted to meet my gaze. “You blame yourself for getting sucked in, even though it was never truly your fault, and now you’re racked with guilt over getting out. Almost like you don’t feel as though you deserve to be one of the lucky ones who do. But at the same time, you’re always looking over your shoulder, like you expect your freedom to be snatched away again without warning.”

Whoa.

She got it. Like, really got it.

Swallowing thickly, I replied, “Uh, yeah. That pretty much sums it up.”

“It’s a total mindfuck, and it’s impossible for anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes to understand.” Arizona washed out the conditioner, then turned off the faucet and used a towel to remove the excess water from my hair. “Therapy helps, but the one thing that truly allowed me to heal was the love of a good man.”

I sat up suddenly, protesting, “Oh, Cole and I aren’t—”

“But you used to be, right?” The way she asked, it sounded as if she already knew the answer.

My eyes dropped to my lap. “Yeah.”

“It’s clear to see that he still cares.”

His feelings weren’t the problem.

Voice thick, I confessed, “After everything, I don’t know if I can—” A tear broke free, sliding down my face, and I didn’t make a move to wipe it away.

Arizona reached out to take my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience, so it’s perfectly understandable that you’re scared you’ll never be able to trust someone enough to let them get that close again. I hope you can believe me when I say that, given enough time and with the right support, you’ll come out on the other side of this stronger than ever.”

One thing she said struck a chord with me. I needed to talk to someone, a professional, even if the idea of recounting the gritty details of the abuse I suffered twisted my stomach into knots.