Page 152 of Over Time Advantage

“Nah,” Kennedy says, “Harper has a great smile. Yours is crooked. You can’t wear that ring.” She winks at Harper. “Pretty privilege.”

I move the ring box a little closer to Harper so she can better reach it. “Do you accept my proposal?” I ask again.

She turns to Kennedy, who nods in encouragement, before looking back at me. “I don’t want my mommy to be sad anymore. She was happy before, when you were her boyfriend. If you promise to make her happy again, I’ll accept.”

I smile. “Agreed.” I take the ring out of the box and place it on her little finger. She stares at it like it’s the most precious thing in the world. My heart swells with pride that we’re able to get to this place and with affection for this compassionate, forgiving little girl.

“Now I need to share the biggest secret with you. Are you ready?”

She nods eagerly. “Yes.”

THIRTY-TWO

FALLON

Happiness and love. I’m surrounded by it, but I don’t get to experience either.

I miss him so much, and time isn’t helping. It’s supposed to heal all wounds, but it’s only making things worse. It’s like I’m missing part of my soul, a part I fear I’ll never get back.

It’s New Year’s Eve, and, once again, I’m the only single person at this party. A party I was forced to attend against my will.

Tanner is hosting. Unlike last year, when it was a smaller gathering, it’s a much bigger event. All his local clients and their respective spouses and kids are here. Even Kennedy, Daylen, Sulley, and Vance are here.

We’re all standing around with our drinks, chatting in various groups. God bless Reggie. She’s doing her best to bring a smile to my face tonight, but her efforts are fruitless. I’ve lost the ability to feel joy.

She looks at our smaller group. “Did you all know the words to the eighty’s song ‘Gloria’ by Laura Branigan are about menopause?”

Cassandra scrunches her face. “No way.”

Reggie nods. “Yep. The lights are on, but you're not home... your mind is not your own. You really don't remember...was it something that he said?” she sings. “That’s all about brain fog. And there are lines like, You can't sleep, and, Your heart sweats, your body shakes. I’m telling you, it’s about menopause.”

We all stand there a bit dumbfounded. Is it true? That song is from 1982. I never considered the words before.

I walk away as they all talk about their perimenopause symptoms of the week. It’s depressing. I can’t listen to it. The day it hits for me is the day I know my dream of having more children will be over. I was hot one day last week, and I had a panic attack thinking it was a hot flash.

I’m sitting alone on the sofa, lost in my thoughts, when Kennedy plops down next to me and wraps her arm around me, pulling me close. “Are you okay?” she asks.

I lay my head on her shoulder. “Not really, but we probably shouldn’t talk about it. My friendship with you never has and never will have anything to do with your dad. I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, like you have to choose sides.”

“I don’t feel that way,” she responds. “I’m here to listen if you want to talk.” Her concerned eyes meet mine. “He’s hurting too. In fact, he’s an even bigger mess than you.” She takes my hand. “He misses you so much.”

“I miss him too,” I admit as I lift my head. “It feels like a part of me is forever lost. I don’t know how to move forward without him,” I quietly admit.

“Then don’t,” she pushes. “You guys are the real deal. Move forward together.”

I shake my head. “He hurt me. Badly.”

“No one is perfect, Fallon. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all human and imperfect. You can’t undo the past. Has he apologized and recognized his wrongs?” she asks with a bit of edge to her tone.

I narrow my eyes at her attempt to mimic my words to her from months ago.

“You can choose to move forward,” she continues. “Relationships are messy. Do you value the relationship over the grudge?” Again, she mimics my words to her.

“Who let you in here?” I mumble.

She releases a laugh. “A wise woman once said all that to me. It gave me a lot to think about at the time.”

I lean back on the sofa. “That’s the thing. Our relationship wasn’t messy at all. He was…wonderful to me for so many months. Every single thing he did and said was right and…perfect.”