Page 37 of Over Time Advantage

I scratch behind my neck nervously, beyond uncomfortable having this conversation. “You all seem to have hairless backs. I’m not super hairy there, but I’m a grown man with dark hair. I’m not hairless.”

He nods. “You need waxing. How old is your date?”

“Why does that matter?” I ask.

“Women in their twenties like men with smooth chests in addition to backs.”

My chin drops. “Absolutely not. I’d feel too feminine without that. I’ve had chest hair since I was fifteen. I’m not touching that, and of course she’s not in her twenties. I would never date a woman my daughter’s age.” I make a look of disgust.

He holds up his hand in defense. “Okay, okay. Just checking. What about…” He points to his crotch area.

I nearly fall out of my chair as I scream, “What? You wax down there too?”

He shrugs. “I don’t wax that area quite as much anymore, but at a minimum, I manscape.”

“What the hell is manscape?” I ask with equal parts horror and curiosity.

“It’s like…trimming the hedges.” He lifts his brows suggestively.

I think my chin is on the floor. “And women expect that?”

He nods. “They do. All ages. It’s no different from what we expect of them. Women keep things…clean and take care of business down there. Men should too.”

I deflate back into my chair again. “I hadn’t considered that,” I admit. “Can we start with the back? I need time to think about the rest.”

“Sure, Coach. I’ll take you to my woman. I was supposed to have an appointment this afternoon. You can have my timeslot.”

“A woman? You let a woman do it?”

He chuckles. “Yes, sir. Most aestheticians are women. They have a gentle touch.”

“There’s a name for people who wax?” I ask in complete and total shock.

“Yes, sir. There’s a science behind it, and you want someone who has been trained properly and knows exactly what they’re doing. It’s important to get to the hair where it’s actively rooted in the follicle. That’s called the anagen phase of hair growth, and that’s the time to get it removed. The more sessions in which you’re able to get it at the root, the weaker the follicle gradually becomes over time. Eventually, the hair will grow slower and finer. Shaving only gets the hair right at the surface. It does nothing to prevent long-term growth, and it grows back much quicker than with waxing. I highly recommend waxing at least your back, both upper and lower. I’ve seen it, and it’s not too hairy. It won’t hurt that much.”

“It hurts?” I hadn’t considered that.

He shrugs. “A little bit. Especially the first time. A good aesthetician will make sure the pain is short-lived. That’s why you need the right person. My woman is great. She’ll take care of you. She’ll make sure the wax temperature is optimal for root removal and less pain.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “Will…umm…will you come with me? I’m kind of embarrassed. I don’t know where to go or what shit to ask for.”

He gives me a crooked smile. “Of course. Give me thirty to hit the head and the shower, then we’ll go.”

Thirty minutes later, I’m standing in the stadium lobby when Beau, Daylen, and Champ Williamson, our running back, walk out.

My eyes widen, and Beau winces. “Sorry, Coach. I forgot to mention these two knuckleheads were coming with me. We usually do it together. We all use the same aesthetician.”

Daylen gives me a giant—and I mean giant—grin. “Coach, I hear we’re getting our balls waxed together. I’ll hold your hand if you hold mine,” he offers. “Better yet, you can sit on my lap while you get yours done.”

My lip twitches in annoyance. “Fudd, you’re running laps tomorrow. Anyone would have been better than Humblecut.”

Daylen lets out a booming laugh. Fucking guy laughs so damn loud. “Love you too, Coach. Who’s the woman? Anyone we know?”

I roll my eyes. “As if I would ever tell you. No, it’s no one you know. As if you and I would ever look for women in the same places.”

Okay, that’s not true. He knows Fallon. She was married to his agent. I’m sure their paths crossed a few times when she was married to Tanner, but I’m certainly not telling him it’s her.

“Does she have big tits?” he asks while holding his hands in a manner suggesting he’s holding large breasts.