Page 78 of The Seashell of ’Ohana

I’m so sorry, Abby. Please forgive me. I’d give anything not to cause you this pain. This is not the life you deserve. I wish I could change fate, but this only means that I’m not supposed to be yours forever.

With that being said, I want you to know that whenever you’re ready to move on without me, you have my blessing. I know you. Guilt will split you in half. Be free of guilt, sweetheart. Be free to love someone else, but don’t forget me and the good times we shared. Life is too short. You and I know this firsthand, now. Live your life to the fullest. Make memories.

I love you, sweetheart. I love you more than you will ever know, which is the reason why I want you to move on without me. The only thing I ask is that you place the gift I’m giving you wherever you want to remember me. To remember how much I loved you and how much I want you and Tyler to be happy.

There’s a story about an angel who loved a human so much that he wanted to be a human. When he was refused, he dove into the ocean because he couldn’t bear the pain of losing her. When his wings touched the water, thousands of his feathers turned into seashells that looked like angel wings. These seashells are rare, and somehow they find grieving people who have lost their loved ones. It’s a reminder that love never dies, even when the person is gone.

I am that angel who wants to be with you, but can’t. But I am with you always. I will always be grateful for your love. Grateful that you gave me a son. And even though our time was short, those were the best years of my life.

If there ever was such a thing as soulmates, you were mine, and I was yours. But sometimes even soulmates don’t get their happy-ever-after. I was your first love, but someone will be your last. He’s one damn lucky guy.

We came to earth to be together and will continue to do so after this life.

I love you across the galaxies and beyond,

Steve

My body trembled, my chest heaved, and tears came faster than I could wipe them. This letter punctured a hole in my chest, and at the same time, healed it. I hugged his letter as if I could hug him and sobbed and sobbed, riding the wave of my pain.

After no more tears were shed, I opened the box and took out a dove-white seashell as big as my palm. Two angel wing seashells were aligned to create a heart.

Steve couldn’t have left me a more perfect gift.

Sometimes fate was kind.

Chapter Thirty-Two — A New Beginning

Receiving my mother-in-law’s blessing had given me some solace, but Steve’s letter had given me the peace I needed.

Family was important to me, and even though Steve was gone, Peggy and Michelle were still my family. I would always care about them and be there for them. And I wanted Tyler to have a relationship with them, no matter the distance.

It was hard saying goodbye to Peggy and Michelle. We hugged and shed tears, and I promised to bring Tyler during our next visit. When Michelle dropped me off at the airport, I’d told her I would keep in touch.

While I waited at the gate, I sent a text message to Kate, letting her know I was at the airport. Then I sent a message to Ian as my pulse raced, asking him to call me. I had so much to say to him. I had run out on him, then ignored him.

I stared at the phone screen—no answer from Ian. Not to worry. He must be busy and would get back to me.

Tapping my feet like a drum, I continued to stare at the screen. I apologized to the older woman beside me when she cleared her throat. I shifted in my seat and glanced at people walking by. The sound of rolling suitcases and the children running in circles behind me faded when my phone dinged. Excitement coursed through my veins. I clicked on it and felt disappointed. It was from my sister.

Kate: Got your message. See you at home. Have a safe flight.

Abby: Do you know where Ian is? I can’t get ahold of him.

I knew that message was silly. Kate didn’t know Ian’s schedule, but I felt desperate to ask someone.

Kate: Did you try calling?

I realized I needed to see him in person. There was too much to say. When I didn’t answer, dots scrolled in.

Kate: You’re being weird.

Abby: If you see Ian, tell him to check his phone. Also, tell Lee to tell him.

I didn’t know where this aggressive side of me was coming from, but Ian had always texted me back soon after. He was probably busy. He had a life. But what if he was with another woman? What if I had blown my chance?

A text came from my sister.

Kate: Lee told me Ian has a business trip planned to Europe.