Page 23 of Virtually Guarded

Yeah, that reminder shut up my wolf. “The Anax dealt with him. Talked to him. Told him I don’t want anything to do with him, right?”

“Right. I think the Alpha wanted to apologize to you, but the Anax told him to leave you alone.”

“Good.” I chewed on my lower lip. “I really don’t want to think about him or his pack.”

“Sorry.” Xavier moved a little closer. “We don’t have to talk about them. Or anything.”

“I know.” He was right there.

His body was right there. The arms that had carried me into the house the day I showed up. I wanted to be in those arms. Maybe naked. Kissing. Touching. Finding out what he liked when it came to sex. Letting him claim me.

Okay, apparently my wolf had only taken a tiny break, because here he was again, taking over my thoughts. What the fuck was going on in my head?

“Hey.” He was studying me, face creased in concern.

“Oh, shit. You know what I was thinking?” He couldn’t have known. Okay, sure, mate bond and all that, but he couldn’t know that I’d been thinking about sex with him, because that would mean…I didn’t know what it would mean. I pressed against the headboard. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no reason to be.” He turned slightly so he was facing me instead of just having his head turned. “Ren, I have to admit, those thoughts…Well.” His face reddened. “They were pretty incredible. But we can’t. It isn’t the right time.”

“I…Yeah. I guess.” I wished he would leave. I wished he would stay. I wished my goddamn wolf hadn’t been taking a trip down horniness lane and that Xavier hadn’t picked up on the line of thought. Only knowing Xavier for a couple of days wasn’t the problem. I’d fucked guys I’d literally only known a couple of minutes, especially if they were paying me.

But if he fucked me, it would mean something. That was the part that terrified me. It would mean I was his. And that he was mine, which was worse. I couldn’t be responsible for someone else. Wasn’t that what partners were? Responsible for each other? I could barely take care of myself. No way should I try to take care of anyone else.

He didn’t say a word while all of that ran through my mind. I didn’t know whether he was hearing my thoughts again, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.

“Tomorrow’s full moon,” I said finally, my voice rasping from the dryness of my tongue and lips. I wished I’d brought some water up here with me.

“Yes, it is.” He folded his hands in his lap. “Is that what’s going on right now?”

“Can we not talk about it?” Teeth clenched, I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I don’t know, Xavier. I don’t know anything right now.” My voice rose. “I like hanging out with you. Something’s weird tonight.”

“A lot of things are weird tonight.” He stood. “Tomorrow’s full moon, like you said. Some people start feeling it a day or even two days beforehand, and you might be one of those people. Maybe you just need space. I ought to go get some sleep anyway. Tomorrow’s going to be hectic. You can let me know if you need anything.”

“How am I going to do that?” I snapped, and immediately regretted it. I sounded like an asshole. “Sorry. I don’t have a phone, remember? I gave yours back.”

“Yeah. We’ll talk to the Anax tomorrow about getting you a phone.” He hesitated. “Mate bond, Ren. I can hear you. Just think to me if you need me.”

That sounded like some weird sci fi shit…except that he was right. He could hear my thoughts when I didn’t mean him to. Why not make it intentional?

I didn’t want him to leave, but I couldn’t ask him to stay. I was all over the place mentally right now, and it was probably better if he walked away before I said or did something I would regret. Before another kiss. Before that kiss led to more than either of us was ready for. My wolf wasn’t happy about that, and a dull ache sprouted within me. He’d said being away from your mate hurt. Maybe that was what this was. But he needed to go, so I just nodded, and he left.

I didn’t reach out to Xavier that night, because wonder of wonders, I slept through until dawn. In the morning, once I was dressed in the same T-shirt and shorts I’d been wearing, I opened the bedroom door.

Xavier was standing right there. He held out a pile of clothes. “I thought you might want to change. These are spares too. I think they’ll fit you all right.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Still startled, I took the clothes from him. “I hope the shirt’s a little big.”

“Why?” He paused, studying me. My face got hot, and his turned slightly red as he caught on. “Oh. Sorry. Um, it probably will be a little big on you. You might want to try to catch the Anax this morning and ask him about getting some clothes that are actually yours, along with a phone. We have plenty of spare outfits, but it would be good to have something that belongs to you, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Not that I wanted to ask the Anax for anything, but there was no other way I could get what I needed. At least, no other way I was willing to engage in now that I’d met Xavier.

That was a thought I chose to put on the back burner to pick apart later. For now, I just said, “Thanks. I, um, should get dressed.”

“I’ll see you downstairs.” He flashed a smile and walked off down the hall.

I changed quickly and went down to the dining room. Xavier was standing by the far wall talking to Seth. He glanced toward me and nodded, then went back to what looked like a pretty intense discussion, so I decided to leave him alone.

The Anax was sitting at the head of the table, greeting people who walked near him and drinking from a large mug when he wasn’t speaking. I walked over and touched the chair closest to him. Might as well get this over with. “Anax, do you have a minute?”