Page 113 of Allegiant

“I can give you all the proof you need that Row did nothing to harm your brother.” Samson continues to speak to Adi, but his eyes, the apology in them, that’s for me. “Just hand Rowan the gun, and I’ll show you whatever you need.”

I hold my breath. Come on, Adi. For Adam.

Tears fall silently down her cheeks as she extends the weapon to me. I take it gingerly, my own vision cloudy. “I’m so fucking sorry, Adi. I… Oh my god.”

She doesn’t say a word, just blinks at me, grief a shadow in her eyes.

I wait for Samson to remove his dagger, to step toward me.

But he doesn’t.

“Samson,” I say as I move forward. “Let her go. She gave me the gun. What are you doing?”

There’s a slightly manic sheen over his eyes. His knuckles are white on the handle of the dagger. I see a tremble in his hand as he presses the blade into her neck farther. “She threatened you.”

My eyes widen, and I gesture at myself. “So? Look. I’m fine.”

“She doesn’t deserve to live.”

Adi starts to really cry now, the knife nicking her, blood dripping down her long neck. The sound breaks something in me. It reminds me so much of Adam.

She is the only piece of him I have left.

“Samson, I swear to fucking god, let her go.”

His face contorts, like he’s wrestling with himself. Then he purses his lips. “No. It’s too risky. She might come after you again. I can’t allow it.”

The waves’ roar is deafening now. I can barely hear over it. It’s almost as though I step outside of my body for a moment. Like I’m nothing more than a ghost hovering near who I am.

I watch, detached, as I lift the gun back to my head. My hand doesn’t shake. Not even as my finger wraps around the trigger. “Fine. But if you kill her, I’ll pull the trigger.”

Samson sucks in a breath, his cheeks paling. “No. You wouldn’t.”

I probably won’t, but I’ve come undone. All the stitches sewn by Samson have slipped loose. The darkness has taken over. Nothing matters any more. Nothing. “Let her go, then we never need to find out.”

His throat bobs and on a long exhale, he lowers the dagger. Adi slumps forward, and I instinctively catch her in my arms, cooing in her ear as the gun falls to the floor.

Samson kicks it away, the metal disappearing under a prop.

I stare at it numbly, wondering what comes next, how we can walk out of this unscathed.

Not physically, but emotionally.

But it’s not over yet.

Suddenly, Adriana stiffens in my arms. She rips out of my hold to turn on Samson, her eyes wide, her face completely slack. “Oh my god. It’s you.”

Samson blinks down at her, and I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow the wave is louder. There’s something worse coming. Something that will drown us both.

When he doesn’t say anything, I do. “He’s who?”

She turns to face me, holding up her hands in a placating gesture. “I swear, I thought it was you.” She wipes away tears with shaking hands before continuing. “I was so lost after Adam died. I became…obsessed with figuring out what happened. When I thought it was you, it gave me a focus. A purpose. Do you know what I mean?”

I find myself nodding. That’s what dance has given me. A reason to continue.

Dance…and eventually Samson.

Samson steps forward. “Rowan, maybe we should⁠—”