Page 38 of Allegiant

Emotionally though?

Yeah, that terrifies me.

Stop panicking, I tell myself firmly. It’s not like you’ll let him in, anyway. You can’t make him happy. You can’t make anyone happy. What’s more, you don’t deserve it.

I don’t. I deserve to be miserable for the rest of my days.

It’s my penance, one I’d decided on a long time ago.

Three-hundred and sixty-one days ago, if we’re being precise.

When he’s finished, Samson disappears out of sight again. I don’t move at all, just lie there with my legs hanging off the edge of the bed.

I’m so fucking tired. I think I may stay here for the rest of my days.

But when Samson’s frame fills my doorway, I find the energy to lift my head and squint at him. “What’s all that?”

He shrugs a shoulder as he carries the tray into the room. “Just grabbed everything I could think of.”

A lump forms in my throat as he puts the tray on my nightstand. There’s a tall glass of water, a bottle of Advil, a bowl of nuts, and another cup of chamomile tea.

“Thank you,” I croak. Fuck, I think I might cry. Don’t fucking cry. “Seriously.”

“You’re welcome.” The corner of his lip lifts as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Feels like you maybe spend a lot of time looking after others, but not yourself.”

I sit up and pick up the glass of water. The cool liquid soothes my throat. Was I actually screaming earlier? I’ll die of embarrassment if I was. “You can’t know that.”

“What about your neighbor? You spent most of the day with him yesterday. And I saw the groceries being delivered. Doubt he ordered that stuff himself.”

“Have you been stalking me?”

“Maybe.” He smirks. “Would you mind?”

“I should.” I take a final sip before putting the glass down. “If I were smarter, I’d avoid danger.”

“Is that what I am? Dangerous?”

“You were there earlier, right? When that fucker decided to attack us outside the restaurant?”

“Fuck. The cannoli!” Samson disappears from the room again. He’s back moments later with a plate in his hand. Our dessert from the restaurant sits atop it. “Here. Can’t let these babies go to waste. Not after I risked my life and defended their honor.”

He doesn’t wait for me to take it, just drops down on the bed beside me and holds one to my lips.

I grin at him before taking a bite. I groan. “Mm. That’s so good.”

“Totally worth fucking a guy up over.”

I swallow another bite before replying. “I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m glad we didn’t lose them.”

“I’d fight over a lot less,” Samson says, and then lets out a small huff. “Suppose you’re right. I’m a bit dangerous.”

The image of how easily he disarmed the robber flashes through my mind. How he tossed him against the wall as though he were no heavier than a rag doll. “Sure. A bit.”

He feeds me the final piece with a smirk, his thumb brushing over my lip. “You missed a bit of cream.”

My tongue swipes over his thumb before my mouth automatically closes around it. Samson’s pupils dilate as I suck lightly before pulling off, wearing my own smirk. “Thanks. Can’t ever miss any of that. It would be detrimental.”

He gives a small growl as I flick my tongue over his finger once more. “Stop looking at me like that.”