Page 120 of Pretty Thing

Flashing lights reflect off everything when we turn the corner onto my street. We go slow, but I start to panic. I can’t see what the issue is, but I have a horrible feeling.

Felix points.

“Is that smoke?”

No.

No.

No.

Please, God. No.

But God isn’t listening. He hasn’t since the night of the accident.

We round the bend and there in the middle of the road are three fire trucks, a couple of police cars, and people standing around watching as my life goes up in flames.

Felix stops, and for a heartbeat we just stare at the bright orange glow sending sparks flying high into the night sky. The fire pours out of every window, and the once pretty blue door is gone. Flames dance inside like hell itself rose up to consume my heart.

“No!”

The strangled wail leaves my throat as I leap out of the car without thinking and try to run for the house. Arms grab me, wrapping me up and hauling me back as tears stream down my face.

“No…Mum…Dad,” I cry while everything that I have left of them burns. I struggle in Felix’s grip, trying to get away. “I need to save them,” I yell.

“They’re not in there. They’re already gone,” Felix says, his voice soft and meant to be soothing, but he may as well have taken a knife to my heart.

“Let me go!”

“No, you can’t go in there.”

“But I have to save their wedding photos, and…”

Felix holds me tighter.

“It’s all gone.” He rubs circles on my back. “I’m sorry.”

My legs give out as gut-wrenching sorrow steals every ounce of energy I have left. I sink to the ground, and Felix holds me, rocking back and forth. I press my head to his chest, but I don’t take my eyes off the house. Everything was inside those walls, all the moments that made me who I am, the pictures, family videos, and gifts my parents gave me. My dad’s favorite mug. My mum’s favorite cookbook.

I can’t breathe. It feels like my chest is caved in. I cling to Felix. Why? Why is this happening to me?

I barely notice the police officer walking over until his legs block part of my view.

Felix is talking. I feel the rumble in his chest, but the only thing I can hear is the roar of the fire as tears freeze to my cheeks.

Felix suddenly picks me up and walks us away. As much as my soul screams that I can’t leave, I don’t fight. I feel numb, raw, like I don’t even belong to this body or world anymore, and all I want is to close my eyes.

felix

Jesus Christ.

My plan worked, but…fuck. I drag a hand through my hair and glance over at Eden in the passenger seat. She has her forehead against her window, just staring out, and she hasn’t moved since we left.

I park the car and reach out to rub her shoulder. Eden doesn’t acknowledge me.

Fuck.

This is all Kyle’s fault. He forced my hand.