Page 48 of Pretty Savage: Defy

“What, no ‘How’s it going? Good to have you home for break?’” I ask, unable to stop myself from goading him. It’s a habit left over from when I was younger, when I’d do anything to get his attention, even if it was negative.

“We don’t have time to waste on pleasantries,” he says. “You have work to do.”

I sit up straighter. “I’m not leaving Laurel alone.”

Father sighs, aggravated. “She’s not alone. There are plenty of people here. Samantha or one of the other girls can stay with her, if you’re so worried.” He picks up the pen and spins it in his palm, a trick that used to fascinate me as a child. “Besides, some in The Order question your loyalty. They whisper that your entanglement with the Bellefleur girl makes you weak. Compromised. Going proves you’re committed to our goals. That the Ashford name remains strong.”

“Of course.” I roll my eyes. “Wouldn’t want a bunch of gossips slandering the esteemed Ashford name—”

“This isn’t a joke,” Father cuts in, his voice sharp. “The Beaumonts are breathing down our necks. They’re on the brink of inciting a mutiny of a magnitude The Order has never seen before. It’s time to do damage control, Son.”

“And the solution is to send us to murder someone. Makes perfect sense.” I don’t bother to hide my sarcasm. “Where are you sending us?”

“New York.”

“New York? We were just there yesterday.”

“This is the city. Manhattan, not upstate where Shady Grove is.” He reaches into a drawer, pulls out a manila folder, and slides it across the desk.

I lean forward, taking it. I turn through the pages, skimming each one, while he waits in silence.

“A hacker?” I ask. “Why does The Order care about some random hacker?”

“This isn’t just any hacker,” Father says. “He’s good. CIA-trained, though he works freelance now. Last week, he breached one of our most restricted servers.”

“What was on it?”

“Our accounts. Holdings. Shell companies. Private correspondence.” His expression doesn’t change, but his hands flatten against the desk. “Names of people who have spent generations making sure no one knows what The Order really is.”

I go still. “He got all that?”

“He didn’t download it, not that we can tell.” Father’s gaze shifts to the fireplace behind me, where low flames dance. “Our guys think he stumbled onto it by accident, but once he was in he spent a long time looking around. We can’t afford to let that go.”

“So it’s a kill order?” I work to keep my voice steady, unemotional.

It isn’t the first time Father has ordered me to take a life for The Order, and I doubt it will be the last. A mission has always done something to me. It reduces the noise of the world to quiet. Simple goals: a name, a location, a threat. There’s no room for questions when every minute has a purpose. I like the chase and then the fight, the chance to use the lessons Father and my instructors drilled into me. It makes me feel alive, useful, worthy.

Maybe that’s wrong, but I can’t pretend it isn’t there. Inside me.

Before Laurel, duty was enough. I did what I was told, then carried the aftermath alone. The faces that haunt my nightmares. The knowledge that somewhere, someone lost a person because The Order decided they were a threat.

This time is harder.

Laurel is upstairs, exhausted from a day where The Order tore apart everything she thought she knew. She would not look at this and see duty the way I do, the way I was raised to.

She would see a choice.

She would ask what this hacker actually did. Whether looking in the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to deserve a death sentence. Whether obeying my father is worth the price I pay. The pieces of my soul that die with every life I take.

The truth is, I don’t have a good answer for her.

If I’m going to have to face Laurel, and my conscience, after coming back from this, I’m sure as hell not doing it for free.

“We’ll go, under two conditions,” I tell Father, keeping my expression neutral. After all, he’s the one who taught me to negotiate from a place of logic rather than emotion. “One, you promise to keep Laurel safe. While I’m gone but after that too. I want her under the full protection of the Ashford name.” I tick them off my fingers. “Two, you restore her inheritance. I want her name, money, and property returned to her since she’s the rightful owner.”

“Her family lost those rights when her father was removed from the path.”

“Well, she’s about to be bonded to me, which puts her right back on the fucking path, wouldn’t you agree?”