Page 50 of Pretty Savage: Defy

Sam grins at the sound.

“Carrson isn’t a prize you stole from me. Neither is being a Bellefleur,” she adds, more serious. “I was angry before because I didn’t know how to be anything else. It’s different now.”

I stare at her, so impressed I hardly know what to say.

She rolls her eyes, uncomfortable with her own sincerity. “Don’t make it weird. I’m still dragging you to the ballroom.” She flaps her hands. “Get dressed. Come on.”

I pull on a pair of jeans and a flowy pink shirt, then tie my hair into a quick ponytail while Sam sits on the end of the bed and paws through my makeup bag.

“Is this lipstick new?” She holds it up, reading the label on the bottom. “Midnight Merlot?”

“I got it at the drugstore last week,” I call from the bathroom, where I’m brushing my teeth. Once that’s done, I come back into the bedroom. “That pink one is new too.”

She digs out the pink lipstick and swipes it across her mouth. “Raspberry Riot?” She smiles at her reflection in a mirror across the room, above Carrson’s small wooden desk. “This one’s for when you want your lips to say fun, but your eyes to say I know where the bodies are.”

The smile stays on her mouth a beat too long before it fades.

I chuckle, then take it when she offers it and dab a little onto my lips. I hand the tube back and check the color in the mirror. When I turn back to Sam, she’s still sitting on the bed, one hand curled loosely around the lipstick, the cap off. Her shoulders have rounded forward. Her eyes are fixed on it like she’s forgotten what it’s for.

“Sam,” I call out.

She startles and instantly wipes the expression away, but it stays in the shadows of her eyes.

“Hey.” I go sit next to her. “Are you okay?”

“Sure,” she says, overly bright. She applies another coat, like she can paint the smile back onto her face.

“Sam,” I say gently, “if something’s bothering you, it’s okay to tell me.” I pat my shoulder. “This is a pretty comfy spot to cry on if you need it.”

She sniffles, turning the lipstick between her fingers.

“It’s Staci,” she confesses. “I can’t stop thinking about her. I keep picturing her hanging there. Spinning.” Samantha’s eyes fill with tears but she’s too stubborn to let them fall. “I should have helped her. Stopped it.”

My shoulders dip. Carrson’s been having nightmares about Staci too. I’ve heard him say her name in his sleep a couple of times. The other night, he woke with his chest heaving, his eyes roaming over the room as though part of him was trapped inside that memory.

This morning, I woke with my own parents drowning behind my eyes.

Maybe that’s what nightmares are. Grief finding a way past all the walls we build while we’re awake.

“It’s not your fault,” I tell Sam, the same thing I told Carrson the last time Staci haunted his dreams. “What happened to her. If anyone’s to blame, it’s Jackson, and if karma doesn’t get him, we will. Just wait.”

“You’re right.” She swipes under her eyes, fixing makeup that isn’t smudged. “Carrson told Thomson and me about Silas in his bus and Jackson snorting Devil’s Dust. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. I trust you.”

She twists the lipstick down, caps it. “I’ve heard some of the other kids, mostly locals, talking about how much they like it, DD.” She stands, and I do too. “Scary, right?”

“Very,” I agree, remembering Jackson’s eyes rolling back and his body shuddering.

Wanting to check if I need a sweater, I go to the window, pull back the curtains, and peer down into the backyard.

Early November has thinned the trees. Bare sweetgum branches reach for the gray sky, while the oaks still hold a scatter of gold-colored leaves. The rose garden’s been cut back for winter, leaving thorny canes and dark soil around winding stone paths.

Two women walk across the lawn toward the woods. Both have long dark hair and thick wool coats that fall to their calves. Even from this distance I recognize them. These are the women who stood behind Carr while he whipped Carrson. The ones who left the room with him.

“Who are those women?” I ask.

Sam comes to stand beside me.